She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas Eve
Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy
With the baby in the backseat
Fifty miles to go and she was running low
On faith and gasoline
It'd been a long hard year
She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention
She was going way too fast
Before she knew it she was spinning
On a thin black sheet of glass
She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn't even have time to cry
She was so scared
She threw her hands up in the air
Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands
?Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus, take the wheel
It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder
And the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat
Sleeping like a rock
And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pray
She said I'm sorry for the way
I've been living my life
I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight
Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands
?Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Oh Jesus, take the wheel
Oh, I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
From this road I'm on
Jesus, take the wheel
Oh, take it, take it from me
Oh, why, ooh
---
This song really touched me. It reminded me of my mom and how I want her to let Jesus take the wheel of the road she's on. She's always so stressed and I wou;d rather suffer than to see her going through this daily. She does SO much for my family and we don't give her enough credit; especially me. The song made me cry and made me think about how I could change the way I live. I am going to try to be less selfish and try to be there for my mom. I have to let her know that she is not alone and I will help her.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
I was thinking about a lot of things
From the ride from school to Johnny's house. I was sitting next to Leland, who is a three year old boy produced by Johnny's brother and his wife.
When you're three, you can't see through the whole window. You can't see much over the top of your carseat but the tops of the trees and houses and stoplights. You can see the clouds and the sky. Once you get out of the car you see that the sky is blue, the clouds are white, and the pond is brown.
But when you are older than three years old, you begin to see everything else. You see the for sale signs on the abandoned fields next to the developing shopping centers and neighborhoods. I wondered if you could buy a piece of land and plant trees. But you wouldn't gain any monetery value. You would just gain more oxygen.
When you are older than three years old you begin to question why the sky is blue, the clouds are white, and the lake is brown. The sky is blue because the color blue is being reflected off the water from the sea. The clouds are white because they reflect the colors of the rainbow. The pond is brown because it is polluted with trash, different liquids, and decayed fishes, turtles, and ducks.
I looked at Leland and imagined myself as him. How nice it would be, to be three years old again.
When you're three, you can't see through the whole window. You can't see much over the top of your carseat but the tops of the trees and houses and stoplights. You can see the clouds and the sky. Once you get out of the car you see that the sky is blue, the clouds are white, and the pond is brown.
But when you are older than three years old, you begin to see everything else. You see the for sale signs on the abandoned fields next to the developing shopping centers and neighborhoods. I wondered if you could buy a piece of land and plant trees. But you wouldn't gain any monetery value. You would just gain more oxygen.
When you are older than three years old you begin to question why the sky is blue, the clouds are white, and the lake is brown. The sky is blue because the color blue is being reflected off the water from the sea. The clouds are white because they reflect the colors of the rainbow. The pond is brown because it is polluted with trash, different liquids, and decayed fishes, turtles, and ducks.
I looked at Leland and imagined myself as him. How nice it would be, to be three years old again.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
The first most amazing night thus far
Sleeping on the floor with you wasn't that bad at all. It was hard for us to sleep because I kept fidgeting around, trying to find a cofortable positon. But I gave up, and so did you. And we decided to talk bout the future.
I was parallel next to you on the blanket-covered floor, staring up at the blank ceiling in the dark.
"Pretend that what you see up there is a moving cloud, and tell me what you see."
I mostly talked about what I had imagined before, not what I supposedly saw at that particular moment so I could sleep. It was about three or four a.m., and I wanted my sleep.
I was dozing off next to you while you were talking, and you decided to turn on the T.V. and watch wrestling. The lights and the sounds hindered me from falling asleep, so I stayed up with you.
When I told you I wasn't sleepy, you turned the T.V. off and turned your body so that you were at eye level with me. I told you I could see your eye and giggled; so did you. Even though the room was almost pitch black, I saw you smile. You asked me to marry you, and I said yes.
It was finally five a.m. by the time we both dozed off. I fell asleep with you in my arms, just the way you like it.
During the middle of the night, I awoke to passionate kisses. Countless "I love you's" were exchanged during the period of time we were awake until we fell asleep.
My alarm woke me up, and I tried waking you up too, but I gave up and fell asleep.
I wokeup again with the room totally filled with sunlight. I kissed you until you were awake. When your yes were finally open, I stared into them and watched your pupils dialate. I saw black flecks within your "doo doo brown" iris.
I acted stupid and crazy with you for about an hour. I unleashed a side of me you may or may not have seen before, but I know you enjoyed it nonetheless.
Then, it was time for a beautiful breakfast.
It was truly a beautiful and amazing night/morning. I'm so glad you're in my life. You truly are a blessing. Thank you for accepting me, loving me, and being my friend and boyfriend. I felt like after that night together, our souls were intertwined somehow.
I was parallel next to you on the blanket-covered floor, staring up at the blank ceiling in the dark.
"Pretend that what you see up there is a moving cloud, and tell me what you see."
I mostly talked about what I had imagined before, not what I supposedly saw at that particular moment so I could sleep. It was about three or four a.m., and I wanted my sleep.
I was dozing off next to you while you were talking, and you decided to turn on the T.V. and watch wrestling. The lights and the sounds hindered me from falling asleep, so I stayed up with you.
When I told you I wasn't sleepy, you turned the T.V. off and turned your body so that you were at eye level with me. I told you I could see your eye and giggled; so did you. Even though the room was almost pitch black, I saw you smile. You asked me to marry you, and I said yes.
It was finally five a.m. by the time we both dozed off. I fell asleep with you in my arms, just the way you like it.
During the middle of the night, I awoke to passionate kisses. Countless "I love you's" were exchanged during the period of time we were awake until we fell asleep.
My alarm woke me up, and I tried waking you up too, but I gave up and fell asleep.
I wokeup again with the room totally filled with sunlight. I kissed you until you were awake. When your yes were finally open, I stared into them and watched your pupils dialate. I saw black flecks within your "doo doo brown" iris.
I acted stupid and crazy with you for about an hour. I unleashed a side of me you may or may not have seen before, but I know you enjoyed it nonetheless.
Then, it was time for a beautiful breakfast.
It was truly a beautiful and amazing night/morning. I'm so glad you're in my life. You truly are a blessing. Thank you for accepting me, loving me, and being my friend and boyfriend. I felt like after that night together, our souls were intertwined somehow.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
DEAR ELIZABETH "QUEENIE" DEL ROSARIO,
I am writing this a few hours earlier, just because.
HAPPY SIXTEENTH BIRTHDAY.
I wish you all the best. May your dreams come true. And live life to the fullest.
If I didn't know you as well as I do now, I probably would say that.
But I do know you somewhat, at least I think I do, despite the lack of communication these past few months.
Happy Sixteenth Birthday.
You are a year older, yay for you. Age is just a number, baby. To me, you were already sixteen. So in my eyes, you are about 17, haha. You are one of the most beautiful people I know. Inside, and out. You stick to your values and you stand up for what you believe. When you set a goal for yourself, you stick to it and don't back down. Your persistance is one of the things I admire most about you. I'm so glad that you are in my life. I can never thank you enough for being there for me, when no one else would be willing to waste their hours of sleep on me when I was hurt. During ne of those nights I remember you said, "I won't let you fall." I think you are the only one whose said that to me and meant it. Oh my gosh I am tearing, haha. Oh no, a tear just fellfrom the right eye. That means it's a tear from happiness! Anyway. Remember when we met? I came up to you because you were talking to Mandy. You looked like me so I figured that we could be friends, maybe. The first thing I said to you was, "Hi! I'm Erica! Will you be my new best friend?" And you replied with, "Sure! I'm Queenie and I like penguins," or something along that line. After that, we started to be around each other more and discovered that we were sort of like twins. We had the same hair, the same yellow shirt from pacsun, and the same height. You became a big, big part of my summer. We became so close. We spent countless hours comforting each other, TALKING ABOUT BOYS, and talking about whatver. Oh yeah, did I mention boys? I've never talked about boys with anyone as much as I've talked about them with you. You were so fun to talk to, and you still are. Remember when we snuck out and went with Tonetti and Ronnie to elbow road, the parking lot, and walmart from like 3-5? I've never had that adrenaline rush before. I'm glad that I suggested to get you for our adventure. We don't have as much memories as I'd like, but HEY, that means we have to CREATE MORE! I feel like you were such a great part of me, and since I feel like we're drifting at the moment, I really miss you. I miss it when you serenade to me. But that is why I watch your videos when the lack of your presence becomes almost unbearable. I hope that doesn't sound lesbionic to you. But that is ironic to say since we do have a lot of lesbionic-type moments which I do enjoy. But that is besides the point. In the smallest amount of time you did become someone I could count on. You are truly a blessing and I appreciate you. I'm glad I'm your friend. I hope your dreams of becoming famous do come true! If that happens I'll create a secret Queenie shrine in my closet. haha jaykay. Your voice is beautiful, your face is beautiful, and your internal organs are beautiful. I hope you have a WONDERFUL birthday. I love you! :D
HAPPY SIXTEENTH BIRTHDAY.
I wish you all the best. May your dreams come true. And live life to the fullest.
If I didn't know you as well as I do now, I probably would say that.
But I do know you somewhat, at least I think I do, despite the lack of communication these past few months.
Happy Sixteenth Birthday.
You are a year older, yay for you. Age is just a number, baby. To me, you were already sixteen. So in my eyes, you are about 17, haha. You are one of the most beautiful people I know. Inside, and out. You stick to your values and you stand up for what you believe. When you set a goal for yourself, you stick to it and don't back down. Your persistance is one of the things I admire most about you. I'm so glad that you are in my life. I can never thank you enough for being there for me, when no one else would be willing to waste their hours of sleep on me when I was hurt. During ne of those nights I remember you said, "I won't let you fall." I think you are the only one whose said that to me and meant it. Oh my gosh I am tearing, haha. Oh no, a tear just fellfrom the right eye. That means it's a tear from happiness! Anyway. Remember when we met? I came up to you because you were talking to Mandy. You looked like me so I figured that we could be friends, maybe. The first thing I said to you was, "Hi! I'm Erica! Will you be my new best friend?" And you replied with, "Sure! I'm Queenie and I like penguins," or something along that line. After that, we started to be around each other more and discovered that we were sort of like twins. We had the same hair, the same yellow shirt from pacsun, and the same height. You became a big, big part of my summer. We became so close. We spent countless hours comforting each other, TALKING ABOUT BOYS, and talking about whatver. Oh yeah, did I mention boys? I've never talked about boys with anyone as much as I've talked about them with you. You were so fun to talk to, and you still are. Remember when we snuck out and went with Tonetti and Ronnie to elbow road, the parking lot, and walmart from like 3-5? I've never had that adrenaline rush before. I'm glad that I suggested to get you for our adventure. We don't have as much memories as I'd like, but HEY, that means we have to CREATE MORE! I feel like you were such a great part of me, and since I feel like we're drifting at the moment, I really miss you. I miss it when you serenade to me. But that is why I watch your videos when the lack of your presence becomes almost unbearable. I hope that doesn't sound lesbionic to you. But that is ironic to say since we do have a lot of lesbionic-type moments which I do enjoy. But that is besides the point. In the smallest amount of time you did become someone I could count on. You are truly a blessing and I appreciate you. I'm glad I'm your friend. I hope your dreams of becoming famous do come true! If that happens I'll create a secret Queenie shrine in my closet. haha jaykay. Your voice is beautiful, your face is beautiful, and your internal organs are beautiful. I hope you have a WONDERFUL birthday. I love you! :D
A year from now; the future
Seeing Kim's Debut pictures and reading about it on people's blogs makes me sad that they're growing up and moving up and on, but happy for them. It also makes me excited for things to come.
I was always jealous of their expriences, and I wanted to have the same experiences as them, at the same time.
But my time to have MY OWN experience with MY OWN friends is coming- sooner than I think. And I'm excited.
I am welcoming the future with open arms.
This year, I found what I wanted. Or rather, those things found me.
I've discovered my group of true friends. The people who are up for anything, anywhere, anytime. This year is already starting to be the best ever because of them.
Things to look forward to:
RINGDANCE !!!
Being a part of DEBUTS towards the end of the year :D
I'll have my time, I'll have my time.
But I thank the people who let me get a peek at their lives, their experiences.
I'll never forget.
Although this probably doesn't make sense to you, it does to me. Reminder to myself, haha.
I was always jealous of their expriences, and I wanted to have the same experiences as them, at the same time.
But my time to have MY OWN experience with MY OWN friends is coming- sooner than I think. And I'm excited.
I am welcoming the future with open arms.
This year, I found what I wanted. Or rather, those things found me.
I've discovered my group of true friends. The people who are up for anything, anywhere, anytime. This year is already starting to be the best ever because of them.
Things to look forward to:
RINGDANCE !!!
Being a part of DEBUTS towards the end of the year :D
I'll have my time, I'll have my time.
But I thank the people who let me get a peek at their lives, their experiences.
I'll never forget.
Although this probably doesn't make sense to you, it does to me. Reminder to myself, haha.
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