I ALWAYS GET SO NERVOUS

before i talk to you
and see you

but it's not that bad =]

SUMMER 2009

june 15monday-kirby came over in the morning and we got ready together. pool @ erics.
june 16tuesday- hung out with kirby and his friends and had dinner with his family.
JUNE 17wednesday- kirbys birthday! he came over in the morning and i think we had breakfast. red city!
june 18-thursday- i think we made breakfast together. tyler's ruby tuesday, tyler's.
june 19friday- i think i stayed home. i dont remember haha.i know i saw him that day. OH YEAH, ian's grad party.
june 20saturday- omgahh i just remember i saw kirby. OH YEAH, hung out with kirby and got fathers day present.
june 21sunday- fathers day! ate at ginza and kirby was ourr waiter. after work he visited me.
june 22monday- nap, get ready, breakfast, pembroke mall, nap. the last perfect day.
june 23tuesday- mt trashmore. jontheresakevin.
june24wednesday- freshman social, sandbridge with nghiajcjuliemichellekimdaneil
june25thursday- NOTHING.
june26friday-nothing..then RETREAT.
june27saturday-RETREAT
june28sunday-RETREAT. came home. and yeah goodbye relationship. beach with nghia.
june29monday-transformers with nghiajckimandrew
june30tuesday-beach with sarahkirstenjcnghiakirby+++++
july1wednesday-symposium opening with theresa
july2thursday-NOTHING
july3friday-ocean breeze w/family
JULY4saturday-THERESASBDAY. FIl-AM, parade, theresa's! bestdayinawhile! =]
july5sunday- sophia's 1st birthday party
july6monday-nothign
july7tuesday-walk and park with ira, my house, walk with veronica to ira's, veronica, played with baby bunnies
july8wednesday-photoshoot with rochelle, ian, kiko & friend came over,
july9thursday-chill/badminton with isiah, dean & ira, beach with them+ mark, kevin, eric, veronica, matt, ian. nghia kim daniel jeff vince came lat0r, saw car accident on the way to dentist, walmart & bra shopping with maaam & seestur
july10friday-CHANNIE TAN'S BIRTHDAY! went to rochelle's. visited christian with isiah. went back to rochelles. made new friend = rhyder. so phunniez.
july11saturday-volleyball at angies with ate nikki angie and theresa. then harry elspeth aurora chelsea jessa helena. laser quest with them + shiela ryan JP AD mandy johnny kein patrick. got last place. mandy slept over. slumber party on stickam. ronnie and michael hotdog+ moon us.
july12sunday-church, pho 78 with fam, saw jt, christian's! nap with mandy and nesly. park! homee =[
july13monday-stickam all day, evan came over, sketched, watched madea goes to jail.
july14tuesday-croatan with mandy, eric, mark, kevin, victor. body boarded. sandbridge with mandy, nghia, kim, daniel,james,isiah, kirby, tyler,ronnie, and marlon and nesly. taco bell with nesly,james,mandy, isiah.
july15wednesday-marlon's with tim messa and isiah. then queenies with them +marlon. isiah's, kapamilya,droppedofftim, books a million, chikfila.
july16thursday-mr. pogi pageant, sonics
july17friday-harry potter with shiela, jessa, helena, ate nicole, chelsea, harry, elspeth, angie, then ihop+ryan, ad, & jp
july18saturday-nothing
july19sunday-church, mall, got shirt,cropped top, high waisted skirt, isiah, tim messa, vince came over, went to malicdems
july20monday-went to the box office with ronnie, tried to get ticket but it was closed, went line dancing with ronnie, isiah, angeline, maebelle, darrin, tanya, cameron, and reynard
july21tuesday-rode on ronnies pegs and went to brandons with kim to get my bike
july22wednesday-WARPED TOUR.
july23thursday-jog with family
july24fridayshiiiet. july25saturday-rearrange my room. july26sunday-church,lucky, hmmm
july27monday-"date", mandy slept over, whole week
july28tuesday-nawwwthan, uncle came over!
july29wednesday-dinner with uncle and auntie fam plus mandy, TEEN NITE, meat rollin, LAWL.
july30thursday-facade meeting
july31friday- went to wesleys, the FUN NIGHT at lfcf, johnny and kevin came ovaa
august1saturday-nawwthann, jc and ronnie came over
august2sunday-church, olive garden
august3monday-facade meeting, home, alps cafe and watched battles, johnnys
august4tuesday-NOTHING
august3wednesday-household meeting at angie's, tennis, tropical smoothie, wendy's, helena's
august6thursday-nothing
august7friday-ross, mall withmommadarlaerin and met up with kevin johnny and mandy
august8saturday-GA meeting at Fort Story, walked on the beach, Theresa's
august9saturday-church, pf chang, grocery shopping
august10monday-WATERCOUNTRYUSA with Holy Spirit Catholic church! with jeng, theresa, and helena.
august11tuesday-coleen's with erin and rochelle.
august12wednesday-queenie came over. PCC with isiah and queenie. chikfila with them+emae and two friends. dance studio. watched first 42 mintues of UP with isiah and vince at mah crib and baked banana nut muffins.
august13thursday- FACS officer meeting at marks! talked to allen. bdubz and skinny dip for fajardo!
august14friday-left for NJ.
august15saturday-NJ, king of prussia mall, saw ponyo.
august16sunday-left NJ
august17monday-isiah mandy vince came over then went with johnny to bdubz and met with arlene and ashley, five below, johnnys
august18tuesday-MYFIRSTADVENTURETOROCKCREEK. went to ronnies, went with him to pick up tyler, home
august19wednesday-MYSECONDADVENTURETOROCKCREEK.went to the lake, visited kirby, went home,lucky
august20thursday-grocery shopping, evan came over
august21friday-target with mom and erin, celebrated omom and dads wedding anniversary at captain georges
august22saturday-YARDSALE! angie's, mall, angies, YUKAI buffet, angies karaoke
august23sunday-nothing
august24monday-meeting at mark's
august25tuesday-meeting at irama'es made stop motion video,walmart
august26wednesday-meeting w obi and julie at felitos,dollartreeandsuch, school, mandy's!
august27thuesday-nothing
august28friday-nothing
august29saturday-nex and commisary with fam, apics social, walked home
august30sunday-church, mow part of the lawn
august31monday-nothing for most of the day..
september1tuesday-snuck out 230 am with kevin tonetti queenie, elbow road 3am, didnt see a car following us but heard it, drove to lyannes but on the way saw creepy dude, dicks sporting goods roof top parking lot car pulled up with no driver, kevin and ronnie peed, rooftop, saw guy breakinginto cars, tag and hide and seek at wal mart at 5 am, jumped back over fence,1040am went to school worked on posters till 230 went to marks and filmed a little till 4.
september2wednesday-mandy came over, open house, ian's
september3thursday-nothing SMS open house followed darla, chikfila, walmart
september4friday-hang out with emilio! walked around went to the park, dropped off angeline and isabelle at lfcf, chris eaton's bonfire! hotdogs, smores, trampoline, signing in the bathroom, things that rhyme with orange and scary road!
september5saturday-yardsale shopping with mandy, mall with mom and erin
september6sunday-church exas steakhouse, fix jeans at nanay's
september7monday- ap assignment and watch napolean dynamite and school rumble!
GOOOOODBAIBAI SUMMER 2009!!!!

refreshing

so i was on the phone with sami for three hours, just talking about .. everything. we're both going through break ups and i must admit, she's got it tougher but we're all the same inside. we both loved, we both lost, we both want.

we were talking about how everything was ABSOLUTELY PERFECT when they wanted us. and now that they don't want us, everythings just ... blah. like, how are we supposed to think about something else that doesn't have to do with them? it's just hard but you know, we have to. eventually it'll get a tad easier.
i kept saying, just remember to look forward to that light at the end of the tunnel.

that's how i view it- right now sami and i are in the darkest part of the tunnel in the begining, and going deeper and deeper.

we're still the same, since we were in 8th grade, we've just been through more "degrassi" stuff. we both don't have anyone, WE STILL WANT TO DRIVE, and we still are like "HE DOESN'T DEFINE ME." and now we're an angry girl band again, hahaha.
oh sami, i missed you. :]

100th post

yay.

from the 80's

okay so this is for the people who follow me because its supposed to be a fashion blog but lately its all this non fashion-related junk .
so heres to you!

I SCORED THREE VINTAGE OVER THE SHOULDER BAGS TODAY FROM MY MOTHER.
all from the 80's. they all have sentimental value, so that's why she kept them and now she's passing them on to me =]

christian charles over the shoulder bag

no brand, i think its from the philippines!

vienti

THere's a time for everything

"...a time to give birth, a time to die... time to kill and a time to heal...a time to tear down and a time to build up...a time to weep, and a time to laugh...a time to mourn and a time to dance...a time to embrace and a time to shun embracing...a time to search and a time to give up as lost...a time to tear apart and a time to sew together....a time to be silent and a time to speak...a time to love and a time to hate...a time for war and a time for peace."





that's what went through my head as i tried to calm myself down when i was with you.

It was for the best

and don't worry, I've stopped crying.
I actually feel fine.

dahil sa iyo

so i meant to do a cover and i was going to do it later.
is there really a point in doing one now? the lyrics still speak true to me.

Because Of You

There's a joy in living

Because Of You

Life is heavenly

I never lived before

Never felt a single thrill before

My heart stood still before

Darling, I'm in ecstacy



Because Of You

Love is sweet and tender

And this, my love

I will offer you

If you will care for me

All things to you I'll be

My heart is ever true

Because Of you



Because Of You

Love is sweet and tender

Without your love

I would surely die

If you should ever stray

Then take my heart away

No other love will do

Because Of You

for the past few days

my life has been a rollercoaster.

when i came to YFC youth camp, i was down, really down. i needed help. at the camp i found just what i needed, guidance, fellowship.
i went there to take my mind off of things.
the first day and night, and afternoon i thought of NOTHING but you. i cried myself to sleep, and i even secluded myself from the others at one point. then i realized that being alone there defeats the purpose of me attending the camp.
after conffession and church, i felt better. i felt like a better person. i felt relieved, closer to God. i felt like everything would get better. Everything between you and me would get better, I was so positive. Then after dinner, I realized that July 4 (also theresa's birthday) is coming up soon. Then I thought of fireworks. Then I thought of our list of places where we should kiss then I wondered if we would spend July 4th together. I wondered if you would be ready by then. And then, I felt all my positive thoughts leave me and I was back to where I started. Lost and lonely.
And then there was the pray over, where my group leader and another leader (Lil' Fran) prayed over me. While Katrina (group leader or "mother") was praying over me, she said, "God, please heal her when she is hurt and put band aids on her wounds. When she needs help let her know that she can turn to You and not just her friends or family, God always be there for her."
At that moment, I felt myself leave that place, I felt my soul travel somewhere where I was at peace, away from my problems.

When I came back to reality, I felt so much better. Much more positive. I felt myself change.

And now, I'm back to where I was. I don't feel as lonely or lost, but I'm still pretty devastated.

Nghia told me that God knows what he's doing and I have to trust Him. I do trust Him. I still have faith in you, you know. I still believe that we can work this out together, no matter what. I still believe that you and I can get through anything together. I still believe that something good will come out of this in the end. But.. end.
I don't want us to come to that.
But whatever decision you make, I'll be fine with it as long as you're happy.
Your happiness is the only thing that matters.

I love you and I always will. You're still my Kirby Manaloto in shining armour.
To me, you are still a man.

keeping me sane

oi: but you gotta be strong
oi: god knows what hes doing
oi: you just gotta trust him.
RR: you're really right.
oi: yeah so listen to me and dont be so negative alright

thanks.

lol

i wish you'd say something

anything.

happiness-the fray

Happiness is just outside my window
Would it crash blowing 80-miles an hour?
Or is happiness a little more like knocking
On your door, and you just let it in?

Happiness feels a lot like sorrow
Let it be, you can’t make it come or go
But you are gone- not for good but for now
Gone for now feels a lot like gone for good

Happiness is a firecracker sitting on my headboard
Happiness was never mine to hold
Careful child, light the fuse and get away
‘Cause happiness throws a shower of sparks

Happiness damn near destroys you
Breaks your faith to pieces on the floor
So you tell yourself, that’s probably enough for now
Happiness has a violent roar

Happiness is like the old man told me
Look for it, but you’ll never find it all
But let it go, live your life and leave it
Then one day, wake up and she’ll be home
Home, home, home

Whatever you do,

please don't take the ring off.
You promised.

looking at it from a new perspective

when it's all over, it'll be great.
that's what i've been thinking about.
when it's all over, i've got something planned.
when it's all over, i've got something to look forward to.

so no more thinking about how miserable everything's gonna be for a while, but thinking about what it's gonna be like when it's new again.
when you come back, it's going to be great.
if you do.

but whatever decision you make, i'll be fine with it as long as you're happy because I love you.

hello good morning how do you do?

i feel that the only place i can get away is to the beach.
the salty breeze calms me down.
the sound of the crashing waves is like a lullaby.

i wanted to go today, i almost had to chance to buuut no.

when i was going home from the beach, i heard the song "learning to breathe" by switchfoot in nghia's car. the song is so, soothing. the scene was perfect. we were driving on the long and twisted roads, past the lonely and isolated beautiful houses, past the lonely and abandoned houses, past the lakes, past the plantations. the sun was peeking through the tall trees.the windows were down and the wind was blowing through my hair, caressing my face.


i'm glad i went yesterday. i still have an insatiable thirst for the salty breeze though.

Now I fully, fullly understand

that you need space.

embrace it.

tyler capil said: you need god
tyler capil said: if theres one thing i learned from church last sunday
tyler capil said: its that
tyler capil said: gods love is bigger than any tragedy in the world
tyler capil said: embrace it

totally stole this from theresa

Take chances, take a lot of them. Because honestly, no matter where you end up and with whom, it always ends up just the way it should be. Your mistakes make you who you are. You learn and grow with each choice you make. Everything is worth it. Say how you feel, always. Be you, and be okay with it.

but i'm feelin it.

Hey you, mr. loto, read the blog then listen to this.

Then I'll give you time.

My heart aches everytime i think about those four words.
I'm
bored
of
you.

Everytime I ache I feel like I just want to die. I'm not TRYING to seem emo or anything, but I just do. Sometimes I feel like YOU are better off without me, you'll have a better life without me. If I'm not here then you do function properly.

I've become so attatched to you. That's why I get so sad when I think about your absence. But now, I'm begining to calm down. I'm begining to really feel the peace.
I know that you'll always love me and you should know I'll always love you. Always.

I've noticed that when I cried, it was really for no reason. And now that I have a reason to, I can't.

I want to be with you, so much. But I guess we both need our time alone, for now I hope. You are everything I've ever wanted, I hope you know that. I mean it when I say you're everything to me.

But what ever happened? It just seems so sudden. A few days ago, everything was PERFECT. Absolutely perfect. And now things are just .. not the way I would want them to be.

I know that everything WILL be fine, eventually. Maybe later than sooner. But at least we'll get there someday. A few days ago I would have never suspected that this would happen. Never. I know things will be fine because I have SO MUCH faith in you, in US. I don't ever want to doubt you again. Never again.

I just hope you keep your promises. I'm tired of aching, tired of promises being broken, not that you were the one breaking promises, just in general.

I feel that some things are falling apart, but time is the glue. Only time can heal our hearts.

I'll give you time because it's what we need. I know we'll get stronger. I know that we'll be back to where we used to. How do I know? Because I have faith in you.

I'll give you time. Now, I want to do this.

spacespacespacespace

it's for the best.

rerereretreat

today i flew a kite.
yes, it was okay, it was very breezy but the sun browned (not tanned, but browned) the right side of my body.
then i hung out with theresa for a bit at mah housee.

i'm going on a retreat with theresa+the ellorin cousins over the weekend. i'm kind of excited but not at the same time? i don't know, at least i'll get to do something.

i'm also kinda saad cause i won't get to see kirby for a while because i'm giving up thursday and friday to see him so that tyler can hang out with him because he needs him more than i. sooo thursday, friday, saturday, and SUNDAY without seeing him D: but why am i making such a big deal out of this? SPACE IS GOOOD. but too much space scares me..

wishy washy jelly jealousy

i wish you were with me today :[
it was so perfect.
the weather was great, the whole place was so peaceful.
they got to do everything i would have wanted to do with you at that same time and place.
but it's okay, there will be a time for US to do that stuff (fly kites, hehe)

For Erica

my love!

I'm sitting next to you right now as you are looking through the very few pictures I took today. I said I was gonna have 1000 by the end of the day. Womp. Oh wells.
Thanks for asking me to come. I appreciate it. I appreciate you and all you've done for me over the past four or five years. It's amazing how long we've been friends. You are my closest and dearest friend. Always and forever. Amen. Not everyone is lucky to have someone like you in their lives. I am lucky. Yes, I am.
I look forward to this weekend and for the rest of the summer.
I love you.

Theresa

MUSHY MUSH LOVEY GOOEY

i know i just posted something like 5 minutes ago buuuuuut.

I think, no, i KNOW i love you more each time I see you, I can feel us growing closer together and our love getting stronger with each kiss.
The feeling of your soft lips against mine is one of the greatest feelings in the world. The fact that someone like YOU loves someone like me, the fact that someone as perfect as you thinks that I am perfect too IS the greatest thing in the world.

Just to know that I am accepted, to have a relationship that we have, is great enough. Everytime I see you, everything feels new again. It always seems like I haven't seen you in days when I really just saw you a few hours ago (like just now!) But I LOVE that feeling; feeling new and refreshed.

I just love being with you because you're never boring. Your personality isn't boring at all and everytime I'm with you, it always seems new. Something new always happens. "Have you ever __ with someone?" The answer is mostly no and I love accomplishing new things with you =]

I love you, Kirby Manaloto. Thanks for visiting me after work today =]

currently watching:

Degrassi! The episode where Jimmy has his own t-shirt line.
Augh. That's sort of, well, it has been a dream of mine everrrr since I was in third grade perhaps? That's when I started drawing on t-shirts. All I've been doing for the past years was just make stupid designs, iron out and stuff. My designs weren't even that good, so I gave up that little dream. When I was in elementary school I was already sketching out outfits and stuff and my classmates would pick an induvidual outfit that they liked.
I guess I've always been into fashion. I know I wanted to major something fashion-related. Wanted.
During church I was thinking about what I want to major in. Yeah, during church, I'm a bad kid.

I feel bad for not knowing about what I want to do with my life after highschool. When the adults ask me what I want to do, I reply with "I don't know." A lot of people I know already have a set path for themselves. They know what they want to do with their lives. Theresa and Tyler want to be engineers. Kirby wants to be a pharmacist. Some of my friends want to be teachers, but some still don't know what to do. I want to knowww.

I don't think I could ever become a fashion designer because I don't have enough creativity. My little sister has more creativity that I do.

I know I don't have to KNOW exactly what I want to do now, but it'd sure be nice to start thinking about it you know?

I was thinking about being a psychologist but Kirby wouldn't talk to me if I did become one, haha. Maybe a psychiatrist , dealing with abnormal behavior, like my cousin Vince. He works in a mental hospital. Maybe I should be a teacher, something that benefits other people? Nah, I can't even speak loud in front of like ten people. I like little kids though. On my PSAT career thingy, you know, when you pick what you wanna major in, I picked business. I wanted to open up some sort of a business. Maybe i should take some business classes just in case. Oh golly gee, I don't know.

My parents don't want me working with fashion because it isn't "practical." Like every filipino parent, they want me to go in the medical field because it'll always be open. That's why I kind of want to be that psychiatrist buuuuut I don't know. I still want to do something fashion related.

This post is going on forever and ever so I should just probably stop here for now.

happy papa's day!

i helped my mom make breakfast for my dad.
Note: do not ask me to cook for you, I can't cook shiiiet!

Yesterday I bought my dad socks because that's what he wanted, and it turned out that my mom and sister bought the same kind!

we went to church and afterwards we ate at GINZA, where kirby works! he was our waiter =] Before we left I wrote "I love you" on a dirty napkin and he told me he kept it.

Heres an old picture of Kirby and I on our 3 monthsery at his work, and we ordered thelove boat! (my family ordered that today as well)

Thank goodness.

I smiled and I felt so relieved when I read "And you didnt lose a friend."
Yeah, of course I still feel bad about it and you haven't completely moved on but I'm glad this is going forward! A direction in which things should go, the direction of progression.

i am a let down.

to both of you.
BOTH of you.

i'm sorry.

i didn't want to keep bursting your bubble.
i guess i should have so that it wouldn't end up like this.
i'm sorry.

pictures from thursday

bam bam!

day juan

yesterdaaaay kirby came over and we slept for a little. then made hash browns and eggs for breakfast while watching fresh prince of bel air. then cleaned a little. mandy came over and me and kirby got ready together. then we went to tyler's and had heavenly hash. then ate at ruby tuesdays with kirby erin tyler and mandy. dropped mandy off at the convention center for the gradution, went to blooms and got ice cream and went to tyler's house and ate it. when i went home i just went to bed, haha.

yesterday was

my darlings 17 birthday and today was my first day of summer!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIRBY MANALOTO=]

i love youuuu! =]

i luhhh this maan

his last day of being sixteeeeen!

pajama shorts

always

"I made this in photography."
"You look so cute! Can you autograph it?"
"Why? I'll always be here."

the scariest moment in my life.

Weleft the park and drove in silence. I didn't think much of it, I knew we were to sort things out later.

We pulled up in front of my house and he said,"Get your things." I sat there and stared blankly for a few minutes, and before I got up, he handed me the necklace I gave him. I didn't understand what was happening. I knew something was terribly wrong. I looked at him, and he was facing straight ahead, with a stone faced expression.
I didn't want to make him seem even more angry, so i followed his intructions and got out of the car. I opened the door to the back seat and put my things into my bag. While packing my things, I looked at him and asked,"Why did you give this back to me?" holding up the necklace.
He muttered,"I don't know," under is breath and still did not look at me
I started crying silently as I zipped up my bag; I could feel him finally look back at me. I was about to leave my necklace in the back seat, but I felt like I should hand it to him.
I closed the door to the back seat and made my way around the driver's side. I looked at him and he looked back, sliding down his window.
"What?" he asked.
"I love you," I replied. I stuck my hand through the window, attempting to give the necklace back.
He slipped his promise ring onto my right hand and I shook with fear, I felt the tears coming, and fear enveloped my entire being.
He looked at me apoligetically and said," I haven't been doing anything right."
"NO!" I cried. "Please, don't, please!"
"But I've just been letting you down, that's all I've been doing." And with that, he also started crying.
"DON'T LEAVE ME! I know we can work this out, I know we can because I believe in you, I HAVE FAITH IN YOU. Please don't leave me now!" I sobbed.
"But I keep letting you down-"
"PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME! You promised you wouldn't leave me! I love you so much, please don't leave me. Don't give up on us now, please! It doesn't mean you'll keep letting me down- I have faith in you, so much faith. I KNOW we can work it out, just don't leave me!" I sobbed even harder.
He looked at me for a split second, cupped my face into his hands and started kissing me passionately.
He got out of his car and took me into his arms.
"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry."
I stopped sobbing but the tears just fell down my face and I hugged him harder.
"Please, don't cry anymore." I obeyed him, and I felt myself calming down. What does this mean, I thought. Is he leaving or is he staying?
"I love you so much, please don't leave me. You mean so much to me."
"Well, you mean EVERYTHING to me, so I win."
After he said that, I knew he was staying. I looked at him and smiled; he smiled back at me.
I put my arms around his neck and kissed him. When the kiss broke, I said,"Please don't do that EVER AGAIN! I love you too much." I tightened the hug for a second, and when I knew he had trouble breathing I let go and looked at him.
"Promise you won't do that ever again?" I said.
"I promise."

wow, i can't fucking believe

i was about to lose you today.

HAPPYFUCKINGSIXMONTHSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!
happyhappyhappy=]

I LOVE YOU SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH YOU HAVE NO IDEA, OMGAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWD.
okay, maybe you do, but no one else but you has no idea of how much i loveeeeeeeeeeeee you =] like, really forealforeal.
i love you so much, much more than i did this morning and really, just so much more than i ever have in my entire life.

I love you Kirby Anthony Santos Manaloto =]
<3

so i didnt end up going to the beach on thursday.
the performances were all pretty sweet - i performed my first spoken word piece for the second time, i hoped i was better than the first time i did it.

well, today is me and kirby's six months!
i wonder what's in store for today ..

OHANAOHANAOHANA

6-8 jiggaaaa
performances by yfamd & MEMEBERS OF FACADE !!!
$5
also $% all you can eat sushi buffet!
GOGOGOGOGOGO!















soo yeahhh beach lat0rz!

haaay there you stud muffin!

oh how great it would be to be that flat, hm?

if that's the way it's gonna be

currently in intro to design class. part of the class is working on their sewing project, another part is just chillin and another part is on the laptops, just chilliiin. im glad i actually got on this site, last time i tried it was blocked!

For what it’s worth, it’s never too late or in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit. Start whenever you want. You can change or stay the same. There are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that stop you. I hope you feel things that you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life that you’re proud of and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.

- benjamin button.

damn good movie.

manic, monday

it feels so weird being home! and on a monday. i only liked folklore practices because i got to chill and not be home.

currently: procrastinating
eating a bowl of clam chowder
watching THE N and saved by the bell is on.

i think i'll take a nap after this and then do my project.
oh, and i musn't forget to change my bedsheets. how often are you supposed to change them?

theresa marie ellorin riel

photos from 2005-2008
you know what, looking at these makes me miss you even more. i miss hanging out with you =[ we should more often and take more picture and add to our collection! i love and miss you theresa! forever and always =]

scratch that, homie

so i originally wanted a Canon PowerShot G10 because it wasn't bulky and it's a good camera for amateur photographers

and it reminds me of an Holga (i know it doesn't look like it that much but it surely reminds me of it)

but my dad wasn't convinced. he wants me to buy an dslr camera like a Nikon D40 or a friggin Canon Rebel XSi but I don't want bulky cameras or anything too proffesional like. All i want is a good carry-around camera because I want to start a photo diary. I'm getting into photography for my own amusement!
Instead of a G10 i convinced him with a Canon Powershot SX10
it's bulkier than I would have liked, but I guess it'll do. It definately reminds me of the old Kodak Easyshare camera we used to have but it was stolen..

the camera wasn't exactly like that but it was something similar to that ..
but anyways, after reading thousands of photography blogs i wanted to take my own pictures, share my own memories and experiences as they do. i want to take pictures of things so i won't forget, rather than rack my brain and use every ounce of enery to remember just a fragment of a memory. that's all, i'm not joining the bandwagon. i'm doing it for myself and myself only!

kodak

i just bought the camera! all i have to do is give it to someone to pass it on now!

DISPOSABLE MEMORY PROJECT!

check this out!
theyre picking them up and passing them on!

http://disposablememoryproject.org/

i thought the idea of this project was sweet so i sent and email and now i'm a part of it. they sent me instructions and all i have o do is buy a disposable camera, put instructions on it, and send the camera out into the world!

i'm excited =D

look at some of the photos from the cameras on here:
http://www.flickr.com/groups/disposablememoryproject/pool/

turqouise

i had a dream that i wore that dress to next year's prom, except that the top part covering the chest was covered in sequins and i had a sash around one of my shoulder.
i also had a dream that kirby and i were swimming in the sea, and we went underwater and there was this place where it was just full of air, so we were swimming in air. i dont know, it was weird.

its only 7:08pm

and so far i've managed to:
- catch up on all the blogs im subscribed to
- watched and tried to fall asleep to cinderella, alice and wonderland, 1/4 of junglebook

oh, yup. that's it.
how sad =[
i'm so used to not being home.
i have so much to do
but i don't feel like putting in energy into ANYTHING whatsoever.

everyone's at prom or doing something with their life.
i'm just here, vegitating. well, it's not like i have a choice. i'm supposed to stay home and REST but i can't sleep. i guess i'm not supposed to put any effort into anything right now.
but i have to do a project thats due tuesday. well, i have an excuse for it to be incompleted by the time it's due. part of me wants to do it, part of me doesnt. it's like cleaning my room! part of me wants to clean, part of me doesn't! i have no one to talk to except for myself and this here blog.
pobre.

TAKE ME OUT

house =

i have to admit- i became restless.













mood: hungry AND restless D:

why FML? why not GMH

GIVES ME HOPE (click)

things to do during the summer:

interior decorating related:
-clean out my closet
-rearrange my closet
-rearrange my room
-PAINT my room
-make a collage on my wall,something like this

my parents won't let me get rid of the ugly dressers in my room :[ they say those objects have sentimental value to them. oh yeah, the washing machine/dryer also has sentimental value to them so they won't get rid of it either.

dollar eating related:
-somehow, find myself a good working sewing machine
-Canon Powershot SX10 $379.88-$32.00
DIY projects:
- i'd like to try this, but i have a feeling i'd fail at it



to be continued...

when you go will you wake me

everytime i wake up, i can NEVER fall back asleep, no matter how hard i try :[
at 6:58 i woke up because i forgot to take my medicine so i went to the bathroom, got some yogurt, and took the tamiflu and i've been trying to get back asleep since then. It is now 8:17.

lookbook trendwatch

I was just on lookboo.nu's trendwatch and that picture was featured in the latest article about sandals. Hahahaheey I have those!

influenza

"So you can't go anywhere until Monday, right?" he asked.
"Yeah, the doctor told me to rest until then," I replied.
"Well, I'll be sure to visit you at least once"
"But what if you get sick? I'm still contagious and I dont want you to get sick-"
"I don't care." He said in a stern voice. "Do you really think getting sick matters to me? I want to see you."







<3

so sick of being tired and so tired of being sick

i started coughing yesterday and i dont know why but i havent stopped. my stomach is upset because i had a lot of homemade mexican food today and i guess my tummy isnt used to that much. i havent eaten dinner but its kay.
tomorrow is the LAST performance! i kind of want to make it to the performance , i kind of dont? i dont know, i'd rather watch than be in it .