I've missed you, blogspot

I like you better than tumblr because there's a lot more stuff on here. And you can follow people with different blog sites! Well anyway, Winter break 09 has been amazing so far.

Dec 22- CHRISTMAS PARTY AT MANDY'S!
Dec 23- I didn't really do anything. Or at least, I don't recall doing anything.
Dec 24- Watchedelf, decorated the Christmas Tree, had breakfast, played the wii, and
went to midnight mass with Johnny! And I met his family too!
Dec 25- Opened presents and that jazz, went to Rochelle's for most of the day.
Dec 26- Watched Alvin and the Chipmunks 2 with my family & Johnny, had a surprise dinner FOR KARL with Sami, Mandy, Rex, Jonathan, and Johnny at Uno's, usual mall jank
Dec 27- Went to chuch, mall with Mommy, Erin, and Johnny and got jeans and nail
polish!
Dec 28- Kevin, Johnny, and Mandy came over. We had an adventure at the park, watched
She's the Man, gave up on playing the new moon board game, watched Moon
Bounce, role played as a family while eating. We made shadow puppets too.
Dec 29- Nothing, really
Dec 30- bank, mall with Allen and Theresa and got my sister airthday present.
Then party city with allen.
Dec 31- Johnny came over very early! We just chilled. Then PF Changs with my
family and Kevin and Mandy. We all squished in the car and headed home
and hung out, ate, slept, played the wii, and watched the ball drop!
Jan 1- To start off the new year we popped poppers, had champagne, watched the
fireworks outside and they all went home soon except for Mandy. Mandy and I
sat around ALL day but we watched Angus, thongs, and pefrect snogging.
Jan 2- Johnny, Mandy, and Kevin came over and we watched Matilda and part
of Charlie and the CHocolate Factory. No one really reads this anymore, but oh well! BLOGSPOT, JUST KNOW I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU <3

Merry Christmas, everyone!

I Hope everyone is having a safe and blessed christmas!

My Christmas was alright.
I opened presents, and I got a snuggie, some crothes, shiny brown boots, A UNICORN, lots of chap stick, ferrero rocher, and thats about it.
I had brunch, then went to Rochelle's for her family's annual Christmas party. The highlight of that was walking my dad home while he was drunk and spinning in chairs with rochelle and my sister.

How's your christmas?

perspectives!

i like to put myself in someone's shoes and imagine what it's like to have their lifestyle. to me it's amusing to step outside myself and imagine. i like to wonder about other's outlooks on life. i like to see things from different perspectives.

the perks of being a wallflower

I just finished that book and it was so good! The concept was along the lines of Carpe Diem: Sieze the moment. "I swear at that moment, we were infinite."
I really liked the point of view of the book, how it was told in first person and he wrote letters to someone anonymous. I was able to put myself in the narrarator's shoes more.

Go ahead, call me a dork. I like reading.

style life

I always find myself looking at pictures of other people, and imagining what it would be like to live their life, to have the lifestyle they have. And then I end up envying them because they may live more than I do.It makes me want to change the way I live. But that's a bad thing to do- to compare my life to theirs and pretty much wish I was them. But after a little bit I realize hey, my life is pretty alright. One day I'll do one of the things they do for fun. I will live my life in my OWN way. It's nice to imagine myself in someone else's shoes though.

craving change

why am i in the mood for a dramatic change?
but change for what?
my lifestyle? perhaps.
physical apperance? just the hair color.
working habits? definately.

well, if i am in the mood for such change, why am i not doing anything about it?
i need to find some motivation.

remember december!

a year ago.
all i can say is daaaaaaamn.
oh well. thanks for the memreez.

values

You and I were raised differently.
I have more linient parents than you so it seems and you are closer to your family than I am. It also seems I am more social than you and you're more of a family person. So that results in me being heavily influenced by my friends and you being heavily influenced by your family. And I guess that's why your cousin and I are more alike than you and I.

When you talked to me about how you were mad at him, I felt liike you were mad at me too since I was in that position before and I was with him at the time. Your values and your perspective on certain situations are so different than mine, mainly because you haven't had the experience that I've had. You haven't been directly touched by the different situations as I have.

You were raised by strict parents, more or less. Not necesarrily strict, but more traditional than my parents. I don't have the same relationship with my parents as you do because your family makes time to spend with each other whereas my parents do not. You know what is right and what is wrong and you are very strong in your beliefs. You're going down that "right path", that path every parent wants their kids to travel. As for me, I go back and forth between that "right path" and "wrong path" because of temptation, the sort of temptaion you are able to resist and you are strongly against. You stay inside the line and once in a while I like to cross that.

I don't know where to end this. Goodnight!

list of movies to watch:

indie films:
- american x history
- a guide to recognizing your saints
- thirteen
- alpha dog
- mulholland drive
- saved!
- linda linda linda
coming soon:
- valentines day
- dear john
- letters to juliet
- chipmunks 2

getting there.

so, life is finally .. good. almost.
i think i'll be TOTALLY content once we move out of this house.
i think moving out is what our family needs to be organized, stable, and closer again.

but, i am happy.
finally, nothing, or no one, is holding me back.

time to say goodbye to this house in a week!

if you're going dowtown, you might as well be on your way

School was very boring today. At FACS, we wrote down our Christmas wishlist for the annual Secret Santa. After school I waited for almost two hours with Mandy and Kevin for Allen to pick us up. I forgot to remind him to get us, so we waited out in the front, chilled with Kyle King, and played some TONK. Instead of going along with his original plans, Allen worked out and played COD.
After Allen got us we dropped Kevin and Mandy off, and went to the mall.

We looked around at Zumie's and I bought two shirts while Allen bought some stuff. The sales associate with the lip ring was very nice, aha. Then we went to F21 and got a thong for his secret santa recipient! I had to buy it for him. Then we saw Ira and Ej working at Mandarin express and shared a meal.

Afterwards we went to AC Moore to get supplies for our chemistry project. Then we looked around at Ross. At one point, I lost Allen and he lost me as well. I was looking for him in the men's section and he was looking for me in the women's section.

It was pouring really hard so I waited by bed, bath& beyond while he got his car. He got my backpack and binder and walked me to the dooor. What a gentleman.

It was really nice hanging out with Allen, it always is. We never really hung out that much during 8th grade. We did hang out that summer but it wasn't like this, I was always so violent towards him.

Weeelll I had a nice day today!How was yours?

once upon a december!

december first.
daaaaaaaaaaang.

A lot of things happened last december.
I can't believe almost a year has gone past.

Well, I best enjoy this last month of 2009!

quotes to keep track of:

"Be not the slave of your own past. Plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep and swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience that shall explain and overlook the old"

"Good things fall apart so that better things can fall into place."

'The unreal is more powerful than the real, because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. because its only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. stone crumbles. wood rots. people, well, they die. but things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on.' -Chuck Palahniuk

"The ultimate act of love is acceptance"

"Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, And don't put up with people that are reckless with yours."

BRACK FRIDAY

Tooday was the first Black Friday that I didn't wake up early in the morning to go anywhere.

I woke up around 9 and ate breakfast with Mandy and Erin. Then me and Mandy took a shower together and we were singing Feliz Navidad and dancing in the shower. It took us a while to get dressed, but when we did, we left with my mom and sister to go to the mall. We got there around 11 and went to Sephora. We tried on some foundation and lip stuff and we kept saying "THIS IS SO FUN."

Afterwards we met up with Johnny and Kevin and went to the food court.We all took pictures in the photobooth! After Kevin ate, they taught me how to play a card game called "Tonk." Then we met up with Brandon! Then we met up with Sami, Karl, and Rex! Then we met up with Ashley and Jonathan! Then I got tickets for Karl, Rex, Sami, Jonathan, Johnny, Kevin, Mandy and Ashley and I to see New moon. Before watching the movie we just sat around and ate. Karl, Rex, Jonathan and Ashley left to do something so it was just the "Power Puff Girls" (Mandy, Sami, and I) and the "Rowdy Ruff Boys" (Brandon, Kevin, Johnny). That section of the day was probably my favorite. We played Tonk before leaving to meet up with everyone to watch the movie.

The movie honestly wasn't as great the second time around, but oh well! I just walked around, bought a present for Sami, and was Johnny's Fashion Consultant.

I thought today was the funnest brack friday evur because I was with MY GROUP of friends. I recently discovered who my real friends were, kaibigan ko. And they're such a fun group of people- I'm glad to call them my friends. I am so cheesy.

i'm thankful for you.

Theresa Marie Ellorin Riel,
You have been my best friend ever since 6th grade. Thank you for putting up with me for all these years. Thank you for being there. I know we see things diffrently, live differently, and act differently, you still support me and you still love me unconditionally. Thank you for scolding me and putting me back in line. Thank you for never leaving me. Thank you for all those notes. Thank you for helping me with everything and showing me things in a new light, through a different perspective. Thank you for pretty much making me a part of your family, and being the family I never had. Thank you for being my best friend.

Mandy & Sami,
We've had each other all along, but it took us two years to figure out that all we really needed was each other. It took us that long to realize that we can find happiness in each other. Thank you for crying with me, laughing with me, and being stupid with me. You guys are really the best. Our friendship is like the kind we see on TV and people would want, haha. I don't know where I would be without your understanding and support. Since freshman year and beyond- I love you guys.


Queenie Del Rosario,
Even though I haven't known you for a long time, it seems like I have. When I formally met you, I knew there just something really special about you. There is more to you than meets the eye. Thank you SO MUCH for staying up with me all those nights to comfort me. Thank you for listening to me. Thank you for helping me. I am looking forward to our date.

Kirby Anthony Santos Manaloto,
I owe a REALLY big thank you to you. Thank you for being in my life during that time I was with you. Thank you for those 6 months- they were amazing. Thank you for all those rides, hugs, kisses, gifts, food, dates, and all the time we spent together. Thank you for giving me a ride after Warped Tour. Thank you for making my 16th birthday, Valentines Day, and New Years 2009 the best. Thank you for everything. Everything we went through together and after we were together shaped me into who I am now!

Ashleyb& Arlene,
I am so glad you girls are in my group of girls. You make everything fun and you guys are just oh so cute. Thank you for being girly and letting me trick or treat with you haha.

Eric, Rex, Karl,
Confirmation Class wouldn't be fun without you guys. The retreat wouldn't have been fun! You guys are fun to be around. Thank you all for being so chill.

DC,
Thank you for comforting me, for making me laugh and smile, for being a dick to me (jokingly of course), for staying up with me, for singing to me, for letting me read to you in a british accent and for breathing. Are we sill on for July 17, 2011?

Tit Hair,
Thank you for watching all those movies with me and many more to come. Thank you for being yourself and being real. It is true we do share A LOT in common. Almost everything except for our age, family, and talent. Oh and we go to different schools. Besides that, we're pretty much the same. You're a really cool dude though, I NEVER thought we would be here.I'm looking forward to seeing us grow together!

Nghia Le,
Thank you for taking me to the beach after Kirby broke up with me. It was really relaxing. Thank you for taking the time to hang out with me and getting me out of the house those few times when I really needed to. Thank you for comforting me and helping me out, too. Thank you for helping me realize what is real and what is not. I'm sorry about those cookies.

Stefan Rigoroso Suarez,
Thank you for listening to me. I never knew I'd be confiding in you either, but it's nice talking to you. Thanks for trying to understand. Thanks for watching simply sara with me, LOL. You're a really cool dude and I'm glad we're friends!

richmond and stuff

yesterday was isiah and arlene's birthday!

i went on a field trip to VCU's fashion department/ short pump mall with the fashion marketing class and first colonial's class.
i sat with vi and was with her the whole time since we didn't really know/like anyone else. i helped her do her make up on the way to picking up first colonial.
on the way to richmond, transformers 2 was playing on charter bus' tv. we couldn't really hear it though because of the loud people in the back.
i listened to vi's ipod during a few songs and talked to her. we fell asleep for a little while listening to our own ipods.

i love being on the road at this time of year. just miles and miles of colored trees and lakes were really beautiful. the trees were at their height in color.

the trip to richmond wasn't too bad at all. when we arrived at richmond everyone was commenting on how ghetto it looks/ how it looks like philly. when we arrived at vcu we went to the bathroom and went to the auditorium place on the second floor where the fashion shows are usually held. 5 people talked to us about fashion design and fashion merchandising. it was boring, but they've convinced me i should go there. we were all eager to leave and eat and shop.

the trip to short pump mall from vcu was surprisingly longer than i expected. it was so nice though. it was a beautiful day, too. so first, vi and i looked around in j. crew, then we went to the food court and ate at panda express! the food was good, and i ate half of vi's food because she didn't like it. then we spent a while at hot topic because she wanted to get something for her friend. and then we looked around at delia's; it wasn't as great as i expected it to be. and the we spent the most time at urban outfitters! i got two shirts for me, one for my sister and arlene, and slipper for my mom. i wish i had more moey though because i would have gotten booties or another par of canvas shoes because the ones i have now are falling apart. we went to h&m for a little bit but to my surprise, they didn't have that much there. then we left. it took forever to get back because it was rush hour.

it turns out i missed open mic and i didn't get to perform.

allen picked me up when we got to the school and we went to five below to get arlene a present. we had a hard time at first, but he ended up buying four hello kitty tin cases. they were the only cool hello kitty things there. then we went to arlene's party. it wasn't much of a party, but more of a little gathering with our group of friends. it was nice. i didn't do much though but eat lumpia and take pictures with mandy. it was fun hanging out with everyone for a little though. i only stayed until 715-ish because i wasn't even supposed to be there. i'm still grounded but it doesn't really feel like it. allen took me home, but he went back to the party, or so he sad. it was nice hanging out with allen too, since we haven't in a while.

when i got home i watched kiki's delivery service with my sister and fell asleep
early.

open mic's my everything

its all i ever wanted
open mic is real big
bigger than we ever thought
--

history was chill but stupid cause we had to retake the same test we took the last aday and i was not energetic. chemistry was okay.. i studied really hard for the test, but the test was STILL really hard.

lunch was fun though, because i helped sell tickets with danielle and erwin. we were playing his ukulele and coming up with a jingle so everyone would be convinced to buy a ticket. we just ended up writing it to "best i ever had"

i came back to the cafeteria during study block and that one was funner because i actually went up to tables, sang the f.u.n. song for them, and convinced some people to buy a ticket tomorrow. i was proud of myself because i wasn't shy at all.

algebra II is so funny. theres the theater kid, country funny guy, and slow black chick. all of them together is a ridiculously funny combination. the theater kid always plays with scissors and i was acting like a mommy today, taking all the dangerous objects away from him.

when i got home today, it sucked. i. don't. like. home. at. times. like. this.

blogspot,

i will always stay faithful to you. i'll never leave you, we've been through too much together <3

Since no one really reads this anymore except for maybe Queenie and Jc..
----

-There is a fine line. Between those who care, and those who are hungry for chismis, or gossip. Those who care will see what I'm feeling. Those who are hungry are oblivious to my mask, my front.

- I suck at small talk. I love serious conversations. Always Up for a meaningful conversations.

-This blog is a diary for myself. I do not blog to impress. I write words to remind myself, and so I can look back on this.

i cannot find the heart i gave to you

glass-ingrid michaelson

Promise yourself,

to not waste time.

I want a guy..

Whose humor consists of more than acting gay. Someone who won’t make fun of how messy i am. Who will let me take care of him. A straight up gentleman. Who will treat my body like his body and well let me treat his body like my body. Who will still be a kid with me, but can act like an adult. Who I can be comfortable with. Who will do homework with me. Who will sweep me off my feet. Who is willing to teach and to learn. Who is Willing to face uncertainty with me. Who will Discuss, debate, and argue with me. Whom I can completely be confident. Who will balance his time with me, his boys, and family. Who will be intellectual with me, but also know how to be stupid with me. Who will love my family like his own. Who won't give a fuck about what everyone thinks. I want a guy who will want me. Who will need me.
Who will not run.

away

Although my dad is retired from the navy, he still leaves every 2-3 weeks.
Tomorrow morning he's leaving for the Philippines and he'll be there for 2-3 weeks. I'm really worried for his safety because of the weather, and because it's dangerous. He told me to be careful and watch out for scams and calls from people asking us for money. There might be calls like "your dad has been kidnapped, please give us money to help us find him" or "this is your dad, send me money" and i have to ask the caller for a security question, to find out if it's really my dad.

I've been used to his absence. My dad missed a lot of my birthdays- including my birth. He missed a lot of holidays too, this year he's going to miss thanksgiving. I remember when I was 5 or 6 I used to cry for my dad a lot when he was on deployment. Whenever he'd come home he'd tickle me and my sister. My sister and I would always try to hide from him and when he would find us he'd tickle us too. It used to be really sad whenever my dad would leave for a 6 month deployment, or on leave for a week or two. But now I'm so used to it. I'm not surprised when I hear that he's leaving. Two weeks ago he was in New Jersey. For my birthday he was in Florida I think? Or South Carolina. Or Oregon. On my sister's birthday he'll be in Florida. My dad doesn't even work in the military, he works as a civilian calibrating gauges on ships. But his work takes him EVERYWHERE! I would want a job that takes me everywhere, but not as labourous as his job.


I just pray that my dad will be safe along with everyone flying out in this horrible weather.

happy birthday tyler

looking back at my old posts..

Well, of course I've changed! And for the better thank goodness.
I've straightened out my priorities. I've revived frienships, relationships. I've done a complete 180 from my "fuck everything" bitter, mindset.
I think I'm tingling with content. I haven't been here, at this place, for so long. I began to appreciate the little things more! And I am REALLY appreciative for the past. It.All.Adds.Up. To who I am now!
I would like to thank everyone who has walked into my life. Regardless of whether you are still in my life or have walked out, you've affected me in some way and I am grateful for that.

:]

the little things make my day

"my name's sh-sh-shaq."

"is that your happy sigh?"

"this is the retard table. represent!"

"LET'S GO, PUMPKIN!"

"say toy boy 5 times fast."

"from british accents to weird homonyms."
"synonyms."

"my mac runs faster than the speed of dirt."

"the speed of squirrels."



"Shelby, the pumpkin."

Love

Today's lesson in Confirmation Class was on Christian Morality, but really along the lines of love.
This dude who was "straight outta compton" talked about how he grew up really tough, and never expected himself to be a tough guy. On how all he thought about was sex back then. Stuff I wrote down that he touched:

"WE HAVE TO BE BETTER PEOPLE FOR CHRIST"

"Overcome."

"Gain peace through just war."

"War becomes consuming"

" Love= thinking of others before yourself."

"TAKE TIME TO MAKE IT HAPPEN."

"Where you are today is a very short trip."

"Love is making a difference in someone's life."

"Love is the highest law."

"Create virtues."

i think today was symbolic.

today was indeed special, because the major events happened with sami.
today i lived up to what i've really been meaning to do.
"flow." and i did just that. i let go of the things that weren't meant to be made a big deal out of. and i took everything as it came and savoured everything. it really is better to let go than to be in control. i feel so free, so relaxed. and life is going in the direction i want it to go in- FORWARD.
"live once." and that, i also did. the adrenaline rush felt great, and sharing that with sami was so funny.
taking big loads off my shoulders one thing at a time feels nice too.

i took my family for granted and i'm changing my attitude towards them. i'm finally building a good relatioinship with my sister!
all that's left are two things. You&you. oh well, i'll deal with you later, i guess now isn't the time!

i hope everyone had a good day!

minor detail

saturday
theresa picked me up around 9 and we went to angie's for the YFC household meeting. The talk was about family. About how they do nothing but love you. About how you think they don't understand you, but they really do. And the number 7. Auntie Marevick wrote Family, Life, and Love, using the 7 for the l's and F.
After closing song/prayer we (angie, theresa, harry, baby c, janelle, gabby,helena) ate, talked about dreams, went to the park, and chilled outside. I got to catch up with Helena, that was really nice.
Afterwards Helena and I got dropped off at the mall. I got a skirt for my sister and two belts. Everyone from Salem was there, but I don't really like big groups so I was with Rochelle for most of the time after Helena left. Then I was with Johnny for a little until I had to leave.
Eric picked me up and we went to Cox High for the special olympics. Eric, Rex, Katie, Karl, Arlene, Christian and I were there for two hours doing pretty much nothing. We were assigned to four games, two people each but Christian was with Katie and I at the dinosaur ring toss. All of us took turns playing that, and we were playing hot potato with one of the stuffed things at Eric's game. We stopped throwing the thing around when people were walking passed us. During those time outs Karl, Eric, Arlene and I were dancing. Then we were throwing stuff at Christian and Katie and they threw the little balls back at us.
Those two hours were really fun IMO. Then the contestants came! The dinosaur ring toss was the most popular, might I say because a lot of people were coming back to play. Christian was in charge of giving out the fake money and I had to collect the rings and asked people if they wantedto play. Within 30 minutes I was alreay tired and sweating. I got to spend time with Christian though, which was noiice.
Then, I got a call from my dad on Eric's phone. My parents didn't know where I was when I clearly told them earlier that I was goign to Cox with Eric. My parents were screaming at me, telling me I have no idea what they had to go through. After I hung up I broke down and cried on Christian and then Rex, Karl, and Katie surrounded me with hugs. Rex and Katie went with me to wait for my dad in Eric's car since it was really cold and it was safe. There weretwo people geting buck outside of the car so I locked the doors. Rex went out to look for my dad and katie and I were worried for Rex's safety, which was funny. He took the keys so Katie and I were just locked in the car, scared for a few minutes. Turns out my dad walked into the school. So i found him and got into the truck.
I reeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaalyyyyyyyyy looove the group I was with.

Gratuitious Photo Of Yourself Wednesday

i've decided to post a picture of myself on wednesdays, because Queenie told me to.




DUMSKEME.
"Don't feed the hypebeast"
lololol

400th post

wow and it hasn't even been a year since i've had you, blogspot.

until i put this in detail

FRIDAY-met up with eric rex and karl
- drove to oceanfront and jammed in the car
- chilled and play guitar
- ice braeker
- talks, eat
- TALKED ABOUT LOVE
- prayers, candles
- went out on the balcony for a good 30 minutes and listened to the waves
- roomed with theresa and arlene and rated all the guys
- woke up to the sound of the waves and immediately went out to watch the sun rise
- big breakfast, with view of the ocean
- talks
- went outside for reflection and watched the waves, listened, collected shells
- read letters
- CLOSING PRAYER
- sad, it all ended
- did questions with arlene, eric, rex, and karl and theresa
- saw michael, daniel, kyle, isiah, trey, nico, rochelle, trinh, renz ++
- went to rex's and chilled with him and karl
- rode with jonathan, arlene, rex, and karl to ashley's aunts
- walked around with everyone and ashley around rock creek and trick or treated with jonathan
- thought we got lost but i was right
- ashley left so the rest of us walked around
- walked to wendy's!
- played truth or dare, mostly truth
- dropped off arlene
WENT HOME OMG 10:15 MASS TOMORROW, GOODNIGHT.

At the retreat

Currently in the best western hotel with such a beautiful view of the ocean. What better way to spend a Friday night with your best friend and Arlene in a hotel room right in front of the beach? I'm looking forward to falling asleep to the oceans lullaby .

baibaibraces--->

i walked back and into the school right when the bell rang. a lot of people went up to me and hugged me and congratulated me, saying i looked nice without braces. the people who gave the funniest reactions were sami, mandy,kevin and mark. kevin just poked my teeth and wished his braces were off.sami squealed and hugged me and said i look beautiful. and mandy SCREAMED and we hugged for so long, and said she isn't used to it. and mark was just yelling CONGRATS ERICA WOOOHOOOOO all the way until we parted directions. everyone gave me an even better reason to smile. it feels if i don't smile anyway, because it just feels like there's jelly on my teeth. if i do smile, that jelly feeling goes away. i love not having braces. it feels soo cooooool.

learn to let go of tired skin

In English class today, we read an essay called "Nature" by Ralph Waldo Emerson. My teacher talked about how he was saying that we can't really be at peace when we're in our rooms. To be at peace, you have to get away from reality, from the every day anxieties. To be at peace, you must see the beauty in nature! With our life based around electronics and stuff like that, we forget the simple pleasures in life. We can get mad about the littlest thing, but we don't take the time to notice the beauty in things we tend to overlook.

"To go into solitude, a man needs to retire as much from his chamber as from society. But if a man would be alone, let him look at the stars. The rays that come from those heavenly worlds, will separate between him and vulgar things."

"To speak truly, few adult persons can see nature. Most persons do not see the sun. At least they have a vey superficial seeing. The sun illuminates on the eye of the man, but shines into the eye and heart of the child. The lover of nature is he whose inward and outward senses are still tryly adjusted to each other; who has retained the spirit of infancy even into the era of manhood."

When we were infants, toddlers, and little kids, everything amazed us. "The moon is following us!" "The stars look like .." etc. We were amazed by the nature around us; we bathed in the simple pleasures of life. But we live, breathe, and struggle with the everyday anxieties of life. We can't see the nature and beauty. Life becomes a routine, and beauty is lost. With beauty comes joy and happiness. When we do realize the beauty, we will feel this amusement we once felt when we were small.

"The stars awaken a certain reverance, because though always present, they are always inaccessible; but all natural objects make a kindred impression, when the mind is open to their influence."

WGWYTK

On this day of your life, Erica, we believe God wants you to know ... that when people tell you nice things, stop shrugging them off as if they are nothing.
The sincere compliments you receive are your jewels, - collect them in your heart, - they highlight the beauty of your being and empower you during challenging times. Never say 'oh, it's nothing' or shrug your shoulders when you hear a sincere compliment. Pause, breath it in, and really feel its meaning.


--
mm, righteous

hairy eyebrows and irises

T13C and Ebb&Flow

around 1 ronnie called me and him and marlon were outside my house campaigning for ron villanueva. they were both jumping on my porch to see if they could touch the ceiling. then i went on ronnie's longboard with him and i went with them to three houses and one of them was my auntie.it was fun sitting on ronnie's long board while he pushed it. thennn i went to sami's and we left for club relevant. we came pretty early so we got to hang out with a band called T13C from florida, it was their last day on tour. they're so funny and friendly. then kevin, renard, alvin and adriel arrived and we watched tanger island! a clip of them playing single ladies:

we didnt watch the other bands perform until T13c andebb&
flow came on

T13C was amazing! they have so much energy! before they went on we met andy; the bassist, joe; lead singer/guitarist, and mike; joe's twin brother whose on the synth, back up vocals, and TROMBONE. mike was rocking out with his trombone, it was AMAZING. me and sami and mandy were screaming, haha. joe looked at me and winked 2 times =D they are so sweet.


then it was ebb and flow. it was aiight, i personally didnt like the screamers but it was still good haha.
a clip of erwin:

WOW, COINCIDENCE

What God wants you to know...

On this day of your life, Erica, we believe God wants you to know ... that you are not to shut love out of your life by saying it is impossible to find and keep.
The quickest way to find love is to give love. If you want it too badly, you will not find it. The most secure way to keep love is to give it space and care to grow. If you hold it too tightly, you will lose it

i get my braces off next friday.

i've had braces for so long, i can't imagine my life without them.

happy birthday veronica!

i went to the mall with veronica,victor,mark, and iramae. we were supposed to watch where the wild thigns are but we were too late D: so we got sakio instead and brought it to mount trashmore. it was really peaceful there. i went to visit the tree and bench kirby and i carved our inital into.

fortune cookie said:

"You will soon find a kindred spirit for a lasting relationship."

irony or coincidence?



oh and that What God Wants You To Know facebook application said:
On this day of your life, Erica, we believe God wants you to know ... that decision is only wishful thinking until you take that first irreversible step.

You can tell yourself that you have already decided, that nothing now can stop you, but if that step backwards is so much safer than step forwards, what will hold you true to your path when the going gets tough? Sometimes, the right thing to do is to take that first irreversible step, the one after which you cannot go back. And now, for you, is one of those times. "

MMM THE IRONY!

hang on,

I've been looking in the wrong places for the answers. Basically, all I had to do was look within myself, look at who I've become and who made me this way. The answer was already here, it was already inside of me.
After this little epiphany, I think things will go smoothly.
Hopefully.
I just have to hang on,
and so do YOU.

how do you not care?

sometimes, most of the time, i want to stop caring so it won't affect me so much.

The wheel

Today was probably the most interesting lesson i've sat through so far during this whole confirmation process.
Honestly, I don't enjoy going to confirmation class/ccd because I don't learn a lot, and the class makes me not want to be there.
Some people in my class are disruptive, and some of the speakers make me not want to listen to them.

Instead of having a teacher, there are guest speakers. The guest speaker for today was Abbey Causey, the Social Justice worker for our church.
I learned:

-"Plant an act; reap a habit.
Plant a habit; reap a vitue (good thing) or vice (bad thing)
Plant a virtue or vice; reap a character
Plant a character; reap a destiny (who you are, or who you'll become)"

-"Power" is the ability to act.

-"Your plans aren't always God's plans."

-"Love in truth and action."


The closing prayer was a song called "Follow me", and the chorus goes:

"Am I following Jesus, or just believing in Christ?
Cause I can believe and not change a thing.
But following will change my whole life.
He never said,'Come acknowledge my exsistence!'
Or, 'Believe in me, I'm the seond person of the trinity!'
But 87 times he said...'Follow me!'"



... and what i learned from the facebook application..
"You keep wanting to know how things will play out, keep asking to see the future. God doesn't give anyone the power to know the future, because life becomes maddeningly boring when you know everything upfront. So, instead of struggling, enjoy the uncertainty - to be alive means to not know. "

"Someday

seems like a long time, but it's not."

Is it really? Life seems to be going by pretty fast. I hope that "someday" comes here faster. But I must have patience, everyone should have patience so that way the things we long for hit us, when we don't even see it coming.

where we went wronggg

ehh what do you think

it smells like christmas!

there are already decorated christmas trees on display at NEX and several
'christmas scents" can already be smelled in the air. you can also smell the coldness outside.

I helped with Children's liturgy today! The teacher showed different pictures of people helping out and the children were asked what they do.
Lifeguard
-"The lifeguard helps you from drowning! You don't want to drown or else you will DIE."
-"When you drown, the ater goes inside your mouth and fills your lungs then you die."
Doctor
-"My doctor helps me because I throw up every day!"
Fireman
-"When there's a fire on your roof you have to stop drop and roll."

Those were said by little 4 year olds. Oh man, I loved Children's liturgy today. hopefully I'll get to help next weekend and the weekend after that and so on..

lock in.

it could have been better- way better. nothing really turned out the way it was planned. it wasn't as organized as it was last year and i think all the facilitators are a little dissapointed.

- i helped out with registration
- while eating i tried sitting with all the tables and justin and i were "bar tenders"
- for the ice breakers we did the name game,PROP SKIT, and friggin boom chika boom boom. i was dissapointed because my group sucked at boom chika boom boom.
- for the little bit of free time i sang karaoke in the blackbox theatre
- the workshop was alright, but because of time we were'nt able to get to the core of the lesson
- during the other free time i ran around and helped out with mr. facs, and danced with sami and mandy
- mr. facs could have gone way better, the talents took too long and everyone was falling asleep and that was around 2?
- "The Laser Lights" (Dj,Lee,MariaCamia,Cj,Jordan) had a concert and i tried to get people hyped by trying to make them jump around with me. It was sweet though.
-Relay Races were alright, i used isiah's dance move for one of the races which was the "tornado" it was a bit disorganized at the begning
-THE ENERGY CIRCLE dissapointed me because some people were tooembarassed to scream ENERGY but the people who did were funny

The things we didnt get to do because of time =[
-We missed the "make emae not laugh" in the mr. facs pageant
-we didnt get to announce the winners of mr. facs but thats to be done at next meeting
-didn't get to do the second part of the relay race
- WE MISSED OUT THE SCARY STORIES

man maaan. last year was fun. but because of the people we have in the club this year, i am so worried about next year.
oh well!
it was from 10-7, i got home at 8 and woke up at 5 to my dad wearing glowing devil horns from the ACDC concert he went to last night.

drizzly cold

after the mini facsilitator meeting, justin,david,taylor,ira,victor,veronica,cj,mark, matt and i played volleyball, four square, and football in the tennis court parking lot. matt, cj, victor and i were in eric's car and we were blasting "you belong with me". after that we went outside and yelled to "cute without the e." cj and matt kept trying to take my beanie the whole time. and i drove victor's car for a few minutes!
today was pretty good although we had the psat's, but that just made the day shorter =D
i haven't had a good day like this in a looong whiile.

empty

not too fond of this feeling, nope not at all.

sugar cookie

I walked outside and Nghia wasn't in the car. I turned around and he jumped out and yelled BOO! I screamed and turned around, then turned towards him and said "Omgomg. Well here's your cookies! THey're sugar cookies! Sorry they're not the kind you wanted, it was all I had."
"Oh, why all of a sudden?"
"I had to make a project out of cookies. Happy belated birthday and thanks for helping me out in the summer!"
He took the "I" dipped it in the milk, and took a bite out of it.
"Happy birthday! Sorry they're a little burnt."
"WHAT THE FUCK I CAME ALL THE WAY HERE FOR BURNT SUGAR COOKIES!? THIS IS THE WORST BIRTHDAY PRESENT EVER!"
Then he took a sip of milk.
"WHAT THE FUCK THIS ISN'T EVEN REAL MILK!"
"It's soymilk! It's all I have!"
Then he said thanks, gave me a hug, and left. Oh, Nghia.

Children's liturgy

Instead of staying for the readings, Gospel, and Homily, I was an assistant for Children's Liturgy today! In Children's Liturgy, we try to teach preschoolers-1st graders the Gospel and help them try to understand it. I read the kids a story that related to it and helped out this little boy with the worksheets. There was a worksheet with a maze, and in the middle was Jesus. The boy I was helping just gave up. The little girl across from him just drew a line from the begining of the maze to Jesus, not understanding that you can't cross the lines. I thought was cute.
I'm kinda sad I didn't get to hear the Gospel, though. I knew it was about holding on and letting go, something I was really looking forward to hearing, something I probably needed to hear.

homecoming!

friday was the day of the pep rally and i also had a mock interview during fashion marketing, which i sort of failed haha. i wasn't really hyped for the pep rally or the game. before the game i went to vron's and chilled with mark and cj. the pep rally was alright, but the game SUCKED. the juniors couldnt get a truck for the float which was totally better than the other classes. we had to take the parts of the float downstairs, and someone stole the otherhalf of the float and brought it to the other side of the school so i just guarded the oher half of the float with angelo.
we LOST our homecoming game 7-19. it was still nice though because i hung out with kaazie the whole time and she's just the bubbliest person i've ever met.

yesterday i went to nex and the commisary and ate lunch at ihop on gen. booth. theen i went home and allen picked me up and we chilled at theresa's for a bit! it was so nice reminiscing with each other.
then allen dropped me off at mandy's and we got ready for the homecoming dance. while getting ready we were head banging to loosen up our curls.

theresa's mom picked us up and dropped us off. first i took a professional picture with theresa, veronica, arlene, jansine, mandy, & kaazie.
theeen i danced with all of themm and all the guys formed a circle around renz and colin forsome parts of the night. within our group we created a soul train, had a batttle between boys and girls, and they played the fresh price of bel air theme songs! when the slow songs came on me and mandy were sad so we left haha and that was the only time i stayed out of the cafeteria for long. i was invited to go to ihop and i came with theresa and i couldnt find her so i got most of the group to go looking for her. renz gave me a piggy back ride and we traveled through the dance floor but could not find her. we went back to where our group was and she was there! turns out she was in the middle with her OL friends.

thennn me, mandy, theresa, and eric rode with jon and met up with justin, matt, jansine, and veronica at the kempsville ihop but it was too crowded. then we met up with victor, colin, angela, kevin, and jimmy at the ihop by pahs. we took pictures and me and theresa sat with victor and colin!

it was a gewwd day

run away

"No he didn't," you said, agaped in response to the news. Besides my family, you were the first to know since it happened an hour prior to your arrival.

"He did. And I'm fine," I said, smiling.

"You are lying," you chuckled while you shook your head.

"Broken Heart" by Motion City Soundtrack flowed through the speakers of the car, and ironically, I smiled.

"Usually I would cry to this song, but I'm actually smiling. I can't believe it."

You glanced at me and insisted I was lying mad hard. Through out most of the drive, you kept your face forward, still shocked, still in the process of soaking in the information as I was.

The particular route you took was one I look forward to taking. You drove smoothly and swiftly, yet not hurriedly down the narrow curved roads passed the sparkling haunted lake, passed the isolated rural homes and small farms, passed the preservation marsh, and passed the towering trees.

I held my breath when I saw the sign that welcomed us to the beach and smiled. I knew that the beach was the perfect location at that given moment.

I dumped my bag on a pile of sand and sat next to it. While I stared straight ahead of me, you played with an empty beer bottle you found in the sand.

I listened to the crashing of the dull waves and to the laughter of the children, wishing I was one of them. I watched the waves ripple with the slight breeze I felt against my shoulders. I exhaled deeply, inhaled the salty breeze and flared my nostril as I did so. I was finally able to satisfy the hunger for the calm enviornment the beach provided.

I got up and barely put a toe in the water. I waited for it to come to me, and it was cold to the touch. I stared at the salty water beneath me and watched the shells slip away with the traveling waves and then tumbling sand. I began collecting shells of all sorts, and you helped me find the best ones. I spent the next few minutes splashing around and chasing the shells before they dissapeared into the waves.

I turned east and my attention was brought to the grey clouds being turned salmon. I looked in my cupped hands and realized that I had collected enough shells. I plopped back on the sand and helped you dig a hole to bury that empty beer bottle. I think you found a little crab and played with it until you thought it died. The sun was not yet setting, but it was getting late. I said goodbye to the peaceful turf and headed back to the car.

While driving down the road of beach houses, "The Fisherman's song" by Mae played, and I gazed out the window intently, listening and drinking the words that the song poured into my mind. I thought the song fit pretty well to the enviornment, seeing as it was about a man trying to "catch a fish" while another tried writing a song.
On the way home I watched the sun play hide and seek with me again, and smiling when I caught it. The closer I got home, the more depressed I became. At least I got to go somewhere and I thank you, for enabling me to run somewhere, and to you.

stalking cat

wtf

okay well it is cute, but creepy.

mr li

a days pretty much suck except for alg II only because of the people i sit with. i sit with one of kim samonte's co-workers, this tough white chick who is dating a high school drop out and who is a rapper, and this tall skinny sophomore who asks about our days every day. kim's co-worker jon falls asleep every single day in the same position, at the same time. he's so random though and everyones reactions to himmake that class really funny.
there was a short facs meeting and it was just about lock in. i went to the junior class council thing for about five minutes and helped angelo cut the box again but he cut my finger. good thing arlene had those neon band aids.
sonya picked up me and mandy and we went with her to buy presents for her friends. i thought she could bring me home but she couldnt cause she had to go to work, so i stayed at the mall with mandy and ate. mandy had to leave though and couldnt bring me home so i was stuck at the mall by myself for almost an hour. i just sat in the food court, tryng to find a ride.

fuck not having a license maaan. i'm soo mad i didn't get it when i was supposed to :[ my life would be so much different if i did have my license haha.
allen left work just to give me a ride home because i couldn't find anyone. how sweet =D i feel bad though but i'll pay him back. it was nice though, because i kept complaining about how much i missed him and we got to catch up with each other.
we talked about how nice it would be to have a middle school reunion, because thats when everybody was close. we talked about how everyone changed, and reminisced.

i really did miss that guy; i'm glad i had the chance to catch up with him even if it was for a little bit.

i have a new big pimple D: IM GOING TO BE ON THE HOMECOMING FLOAT TOMORROW! GO TO THE GAME! well, just the parade which starts at 6:30. i'm going to be a showgirl with veronica =]

cloudless sky

yesterday was gay, maybe because it was very ugly outside and it didn't go the way i wanted it to but that's alright because today made up for it.

did you see the sunrise today? it was so gorgeous.
today was superhero day at school but i didn't dress up. mandy just put two huge red dots on my cheeks so i was pikachu for today although i didn't look like it. my classes were pretty average. during lunch i was freaknig out though because i couldn't finish my psychology test corrections. and sami + erwin. i'm really happy for her because she is finally happy!

afterschool i painted pokerchips for the float and helped angelo cut out holes from the boxes to make dice costumes. although it didn't seem like much it took a really long time.

i decided to walk home again today because it was such a beautiful, cloudless, breezy day. the breeze was my friend and the sun smiled at me. my ipod was on shuffle and it played the happy songs, unlike yesterday when it played sad songs.

my dad is home form new jersey! he's only been gone for a day, but that day was his birthday. in two weeks he'll be leaving for the philippines. it's like he never retired from the military because he's always traveling; but i'm used to him not being around as much.

a mosquito bit my neck. my sister ran away from me because she saw it suck the blood instead of attempting to kill it. oh well time to take a nap.

Peace and Joy

"And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, becaue we know that suffering produces perserverance; perserverance character; and character, hope. And hope does not dissapoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." Romans 5:2-5

74million

If you could, would you hookup with the last person you texted?
Absolutely not.

What was the reason behind the last time you cried really hard?
fear came true

What were you doing at 2AM last night?
Sleeping.

What could you eat any day of the week & never get tired of?
tiramisu

Do you have any plans for the weekend?
household meeting, homecominggg


Do you find smoking attractive?
Disgusting.

When was the last time something bothered you?
24 hours ago

Anything you're looking forward to?
hmm peanuts comic adventure ... lock in, erwin's show, peoples birthdays, going to vcu/ short pump mall etc etc

Is there any chance you will kiss the person you have feelings for?
No one likes me.

Did your last kiss take place on a bed?
more like front porch

Do you know anyone who is pregnant right now?
no

Do you remember who you liked on New Year's?
kirby

Who's in your house right now?
mom dad and sister

Have you ever ridden a horse?
pony!


Do you own skinny jeans?
yeah

Were you happy when you woke up today?
I dont usually wake up happy these days anymore.

Congratulations! You just had a baby boy! What's his name?
if i was a boy, i was to be named Jerric or Junior.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
uhhh ... hm.

What are you listening to?
the buzz of my fan

What's a fact about the last person that texted you?
he likes getting his meat rolled LOL EW

Is there someone in your life you wish you never met?
nah

Are you missing someone right now?
I miss a lot of people.

Are you good at hiding your feelings?
Not at allll

What side of a heart do you draw first?
Left.

How many hours of sleep do you need to function?
at least 2-3

Do you know anyone named Joshua?
yeaah

Is your hair curly or straight?
Straight when combed, wavy when not

What jewelry are you currently wearing?
i always wear the ring, i never take that off, the heart necklace, wooden bracelet, saints braclet, and this red bracelet. i always always wear those.

Have you ever gotten a teddy bear from a boyfriend/girlfriend?
kolica!

Would you rather go to Greece or Hawaii?
Hawaii.

What if you married the last person you kissed?
that would be nice hahaha

How many people have you kissed, that you can honestly say you loved?
2

What color shirt are you wearing?
white

Will you be in a relationship in the next month?
Definitely not.

Who's taking you to school tomorrow?
Mom.

Do you want any children?
i want a giiiirl.

Do you plan on sleeping in tomorrow?
Sike. I wish.

Do you think someone is falling in love with you?
sike

How's your heart lately?
i dont really now.

Have you ever felt like you needed someone?
right now

Do you still talk to the last person you fell hardest for?
Nope :\

Are you happy?
I am not happy.

Do you believe teenagers can be in love and stay in love?
it's happened, it's happening. but not to me

What's the first thing that pops into your head when you think of last summer?
rollercoasterrr

Did you sleep alone last night?
Yeah.

Are any of your friends taller than you?
most of them

Who was the last person besides family that you said "I love you" to and meant it?
kirby

Spell your name without an L:
erica

Day been rough?
boringg, but jc and isiah visited me!

Could you go the rest of your life without smoking weed?
i will!

Do you believe that if you want something bad enough you'll get it?
i guess so

Is there anyone who doesn't like you?
you

Where do you wish you were right now?
not here

Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night?
as the sun was rising

Is there a person of the opposite gender on your mind?
ugh

Do you miss the way things used to be?
Yes

Would you be able to date someone who doesn't make you laugh?
no

Are you a patient person?
Sometimes.

Do you believe in true love?
Yes

Do you have a lot to learn?
Still learning...

Is it easy for you to talk to people of the opposite sex?
it depends on if that person is easy to talk to

Did the last person you kiss name start with a B?
Nope.

Do you own any Hollister?
like, one shirt i never wear

What really irritates you?
school ahaha

Who was the last person you talked to in person today?
Dad!

When you're sick or sad, do you want to be alone or do you want someone?
I like company.

Do you believe you go "somewhere" after death?
Heaven!

Have you taken a shower in the last 24 hours?
Right before Church.

Ever licked someone's cheek or forehead?
Yes

Are you taller than 5 foot 7 inches?
i dont think ill ever be

Are you one of those people who just don't care?
i have the moments

Have you jumped in a pool with all your clothes on?
i fell into a pool with all my clothes on


Will you be dating someone in six months?
probzz not

Is there a night you would like to put on repeat and live it forever?
so many

How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking?
i should do that more often

Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your own bed?
the car

You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life, what is it?
TEA.

Do you think you are a good person?
hahah

a few minutes ago,

i wanted to get my dad's harry potter birthday card signed by my sister and i before he left for new jersey tomorrow. he won't be home for his birthday on tuesday (which is also my mom's birthday!) i tried to wake my sister up by poking her stomach, and even putting my finger in her nose but she continued snoring. i grabbed her hand, put the pen between her fingers, and signed the card for her. i was careful not to open the card too much or else hedwig's song would play. i suceeded!

i want to go to europe

CLICK TO VIEW LARGER

CLICK TO VIEW LARGER


photos by pascal grob. (pascalgrob.blogspot.com)









photos by olivia lo (theoliviaalo.blogspot.com)
too bad i'm not fluent in any european language at all, but that won't stop me!

it's the little things

today i went thriftstore shopping with my parents. i stumbled across a harry potter hoodie in the men's section. i showed my dad and he said "THAT'S MINE! I'M GOING TO WEAR IT WHENEVER I WATCH HARRY POTTER MOVIES." then he showed my mom and said "look ma, i have a quidditch jacket."

lolool my life is average. it is.

"Recognizing that hanging on is at times more painful than letting go, hope transcends the hurt – even if all we can hope for is one more day."

i finally understand

this is the stage of life where you're not supposed to settle yet although it does sound nice.
this is when you're supposed to have fun and do stupid shit and live, just live.
but it does get lonely, indeed it does.
i'm slowwly getting used to the fact.
well now that i've realised that, i would be content if we could rewind this back two months.
oh welllll! i live on silly day dreams until they come true!

neptune festval 09!

today was the last day of the neptune festival down at the ocean front. i came with mandy for the student art exhibit (all the student artwork was form the students of salem high from both the fine arts and the academy arts)

first mandy and i went to the beach. then we walked aorund and looked at the artwork and booths with mark, justin, david, and patrick c. mandy and i got food and it started pouring, so we ate under an umbrella. it was really sad, but it cleared up and the day became beautiful! i got a sun painted on my face by mandy, justin got a lady gaga lightning bolt, and mark got a scar. mark c, mandy and i got temporary tattoos but they'll last for two weeks. mine says love, mark got his initals, and mandy got one that says death before dishonor. we went to some shops and got some souviners. justin, david and mark left so it was just me mandy and kevin. we played some pool before heading home. it was a nice day, all about art!

it's like a wave

that comes over you and you can't help it
you go under and you feel like you're sinking
eventually you'll get to the surface again

but OLA KALA: EVERYTHINGS GONNA BE OKAY

flyer, look look !

highlighters

- vanessa and i didn't follow directions during chemistry so we ended up having to repeat a step three times because we didn't follow directions. i hate bunsen burners.
- went thrifting with mark, eric, and iramae at goodwill and salvation army and got this FRESH shirt, and two patterned vests=D
- i drove in the lhs parking lot to the empty landstown elementary parking lots. before i turned to concert drive, these kids skating ran in front of the car and then ran away looking at me pointing and laughing. laame; lucky they didn't get hit
- i didn't hit anything!

secret #8

it makes me really happy to know i'm that important to you. you should already know how important you are to me; i don't have to tell you. let's not fade kay?

I GOT MY PERMIT!

FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I drove around the parking lot at church. i suck, but it was fun.

setting up sunday

it's rare, to find myself in a dreamy state. it's rare to feel as light as i do now, to feel as if every move i make isn't real, to feel so fluid, graceful, yet so unreal.
i often find myself longing to feel this way, i often find myself dreaming.
i can't say i'm living a dream, but i'm simply in this dreamy state, a trance.

have

you had a listen to awakening by mae? it's such a beautiful song! if you haven't then its over there --------------->
enjoy!

Don't You Ever.

Don't you EVER tell me you're a bad friend, don't you EVER tell me you're a let down when you haven't even done anything to prove it.
Don't you ever say those words to me again unless there is evidence.

Don't.
You.
Ever.

FACS 2009-2010

secret #6

all of my friends miss having you around. see, i'm not the only one.

don't fade (original) withhh

another rough video, oh well.



please don't fade away
i can't afford losing you now
where would i be without you?
i don't ever want to know

i could spend all of my time
trying to keep this alive,
trying to keep this alive

please don't fade away
cause i don't know if i could do this alone
can you believe the impact that you've made on me?

the stale taste of recycled air

today was a beautiful day.
although my eyes were tired, and they still are, i didn't want to sleep the day away, i didn't want to waste the day.

i strapped on my fanny pack, slipped my earphones on and headed to sami's.
the walk there was nice, i didn't notice how beautiful and elaborately decorated the houses were on ardmore lane.

sami and i tried writing a song but that didn't work out, so we atched 27 dresses and drank cherry dr. pepper and ate salt and vinegar chips instead!
towards the climax of the movie, sami looked out the window and yelled ICE CREAM TRUCK! i slipped on her shoes and she slipped on her flats and we CHASED after the ice cream truck two streets away. we were laughing so hard during the chase. the ice cream man said "lo siento" (im sorry in spanish) cause i guess he saw us. he only stopped when other kids started running towards the truck as well. i got a power puff girl popsicle that almost resembled bubbles and sami got sonic.

we went back to her house, out of breath and finished 27 dresses. it was such a good movie, exactly what i needed. junk food and a chick flick with a bestie. the sun was setting- it was my cue to go home. i strapped on my fanny pack and slipped my earphones on once more and i was on my way home. the first song on shuffle was "recycled air" by the postal service. it was the perfect song.
the distant salmon sky looked so pretty; i followed it home. the streetlights were already on, so i picked up my pace and breathed in the fresh air.

it was a good saturday, minus my morning

things to remember...

FIRST BATCH OF SHIRTS ON SALE NOW!

$15 each. i'll have an order form. when you order it you must hand in the money on the spot!

LIMITED SUPPLY! (IN LIGHT BLUE ONLY.)
Avalible in: S (2) M (3) L (3) XL (3)

ORDER YOURS NOW!!!!!
We will be ordering them in yellow, red, green, and grey when this first batch gets sold.








the concept behind it is you can soar to great heights, even if you are "broken." broken meaning having a disease (ie. Multiple Sclerosis)

i like b days better.

fashion marketing!
although i don't really know anyone except for jessica there are a lot of familiar faces. everyone is friendly and my teacher and student teacher are pretty cool. i'm really really looking forward to that class. PLUS my teacher can help me get a job cause she has the hook ups =D

honors english!
iramae and wesley are in my class! and others i know. my teacher is alright. while she was talking i observed the way her thin lips moved, they came forward everytime she talked and her tounge protruded from the opening between her teeth really fast- she annunciates words very clearly. i only did that because i sat the closet to her and i didnt know what else to pay attention to , hahaha. i guess i'm looking forward to that class.. not really but its aiight.

lunch!
me and sami are the only girls! like almost half of the asian circle has lunch with us. theres erwin, patrick y, patrick g, richard, mark s, cameron, patrick c, kevin r, josh q, uhhh. well not really half, but yeah.

ap psychology!
i was thinking about dropping out of it because i want to take sociology but i changed my mind because mr. van oekel is too cool. i have that class with mandy and iramae, which makes it all the better. i already feel very comfortable with my class. i'm looking forward to this class the most!



afterschool we went to veronica's and tried to do stuff for the video. we ended up chillin on the roof then jamming in her room and we made this song for facs that we recorded. it's puhreeeetttyyy swwweeet.
today was good, i'm really looking forward to b days!

first day of school

was lame.

ooh, i wore a grizzly eaton original.



va & us history
my teacher is new, from kellam. i only know ceejay and kristen in my class. we did introductions and stuff, i guess that class is okay. the class is small so i hope we all become a family, hahah.

chemistry
i only know paola, but i guess that class is pretty okay. we did this rainbow lab. after paola drops out i'm not going to know anyone but this dude who was in my geometry class last year but oh well, time to make new friends! first quiz on thursday =[

lunch/study block
COOKIE IS IN MY LUNCH BLOCK. nghia told me to help him out and find a girlfriend and introduce him to people or whatever hahaha. i sat with sami and the gay gaiz and the ghetto girls! adriel and this other stupid sophomore like took my purse and put it under my chair and i didn't notice till after i ate lunch. i'm already know i might not like lunch because of them.
i was dozing off in study block but whatevsss.

algebra II
so brandon is in my class and he sits behind me. this dude who was in my geometry class last year sat next to me and he kept falling asleep, so i kept poking him to wake him up. maaaan i have lots of homework for that class.



i just awoke from my nap. i wrote/recorded my first original song today. and it is in the post below!

i hope (original song)

REALLY REALLY ROUGH VIDEO




i hope youre doing well
with whoever
or whatever makes you happy so

I hope you know
that i wont ever leave the place that you called home

i hope that you wont change
for the worst
i hope that you see the things you have
i would kill to be like you
i would kill to have the things that you do

I hope you know
that i wont ever leave the place that you called home

Goodbye, Summer 2009 :[

This summer has really been the best, despite the doodoo and sad parts of it. I got to go out a lot, hang out more, live more.
Hmm highlights of this summer..
- beach hopping
- mandy sleeping over like every week
- being involved with YFC
- August 19
- sneaking out and going to elbow road at 3am then the top of dicks sporting goods garage, hide and seek tag at walmart at 5 am
- "sugar booger" lololol
- oh yeah, i did manage to complete the things on my first "things to do during summer" list (clean out closet, rearrange room, do shredded shirt, etc.)
- water country!
- sleeping all day staying up all niiiiight
- bonfayaaa
- webcamming awwl day
- really really late night conversations

hmm theres probably moar but oh well

Seriously Queenie, Darryl, and Theresa, you guys have made the biggest impact on me this summer. Thank you.

I didn't get to complete my "things to do before summer ends" list and i just plan on turning that into my "things to do before 2009 ends" list. But ALL IN ALL IT WAS THE BEST SUMMER I'VE EVER HAD, thanks you gaaaiz.

this has got to be,

the worst feeling(s) in the world. feeling like you can't change, no matter what anyone says to make you feel better. feeling like you are nothing, and at the same time bitter. feeling so angry, so jealous, it messes you up. i am fucking up too.

secret #4

it hurts so much, YOU don't even know. you've got it so easy. FCKYOU.

300th post

i spent my morning yard sale shopping around my neighborhood with mandy!
i scored:
vintage shoulder bag, two unicorn figurines, a brightly multicolored fanny pack, and a mug for my mommy!
the last yard sale i went to i got a FILA track jacket, this really nice but big windbreaker, 3 vintage bags, a prada bag, a gold scarf, stud earrings, hmm.. i think that's it.
but maaaan take me to a yard sale and i go crazyy.

secret #3

out of all drivers, i'd say you're the funnest!

RAWR

LETS SEE HOW THIS GOOOOES!

edit:
it wasn't that bad! at least we were not strangers! it was actually pretty noiiice! smores, hot dogs, jumping on the trampoline, singing in the bathroom, petting kevin like a dog, kevin driving on the scary road by the cemetery, things that rhyme with orange, i'd say it was a good night.

secret #2

I get gas everytime I think about you, HAHAHA.

ambitions.

my original ambitions were:
- go on tour with a band for a year
- teach kindergarten
- work for a fashion magazine
- open a clothing store

scratch that shit!

i can't accomplish all of that, i mean i could if i try hard enough but that's too idealistic.
well i mean i'd still like to go on tour with a band that would be pretty sweet cause i've always wanted to be in a band but..

my new goal:
- open a clothing store which sells clothing (i.e. shirts designed by independent artists and designers) so that people's art could get showcased and people can buy what no one else has.

that idea was sparked by Grizzly Eaton, a t-shirt line coming soon!

2 Corinthians 12:10

"That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

we are like strangers.

hopefully that will change soon.
the sky was really pretty today.

secret #1

i just recently started doing this, but i watch your covers when i'm sad, to listen to your voice and it always calms me down. i know you may not like your voice, but i really do think it's soothing and beautiful, ever since the first time i dozed off while listening to you, haha.
--
edit: september 3, 2009 3:10 am
your voice is stuck in my head but thats a good thing.

why i'm drawn to your group of friends:

you guys live your life. you guys aren't afraid. you guys DO IT, you don't think, you just do.

the first

i awoke from a phone call from tonetti around 2:15, and he said "are you badass? come with me and ronnie and we're gonna drive on elbow road" i quickly got ready and it took me forever to find a way out but i just ended up going out my window and jumping the fence. it's a good thing i wore my boots, cause the yard was muddy as fuhhh. we picked up queenie and we were off to elbow road. i looked at the clock and it was about 3am. i sat in the back with tonetti and queenie had shotgun. they kept on talking about scary situations we could be in, and they mostly talked about seeing sasquatch in the woods. we reached one of the dark parts of elbow road and ronnie turned his lights off and him and tonetti and queenie just started screaming. okay, i screamed too and it was pretty scary but nothing happened. it was just scary because it was dark, and everyoe was screaming so loud and tonetti was holding my hand because he was scared HAHAHA. we didn't go as far as we wanted to but it was far enough, and scary enough so ronnie made a u-turn and we drove passed stumpy lake. it was eerie, but i thought it was kinda cool seeing it in the middle of the night. we went to lyanne's, thinking she would meet us up, but turns out she fell asleep. on the way there we saw a white guy on the side of south rosemont, in a white shirt, it was just really really really CREEPY because he made eye contact with ronnie and kevin said he was the ugliest guy he's ever seen. queenie said he had a cast on, but i never got to see anythig but his shirt, and the side of his head as he was turning to look n our direction.
it was 4am we were in town center, about to turn to go into the parking lot of dick's so we could go to the roof, but as he was about to turn, an SUV pulled up beside us with the windows down ... with no driver,which scared the SHIT out of us. as we ronnie was driving up the levels, we kept thinking someone was following us, and we were talking about how people get murdered in parking garages. we made it to the top and it was a really nice view. it was really cold though, but its kay i had a hoodie. we witnessed a guy trying to break into other cars in the parking garage right across from us. kevin and ronnie went on the other side of the parking lot and marked their territory, if you know what i mean hahahaha. in the car we all took turns screaming and realized my screams were like shrieks, kevin's was just really high, ronnie's was just funny and queenie's was cooler than mine.
we went to walmart at 5am, and it was really really busy in there with all the workers. me and queenie went to the bathroom then after that we played hide and seek tag! queenie and ronnie were a team and i was with kevin. me and kevin had to count to a hundred and while doing so, we were looking at shoes. when it was time to look for queenie and ronnie, kevin and i were just walking fast, by the aisles and when we came to the clothing section we just asked each other if we would wear these different things, like the miley cyrus clothes hahaha. we found queenie and ronnie looking at womean's cardigans. kevin chased queenie because she ran, but i heard him get yelled at by one of the employees HAHA. i was on ronnie's tail. i lost him though at the shoes so i gave up and found tonetti and queenie hahaha. ronnie was trying on cardigans and kevin tried on a sweater; queenie ended up buying the cardigan for ronnie though, hahaha. and thenn it was time to go home =[ i had so much trouble getting over the fence, kevin couldn't do it alone. my foot kept getting stuck in the mud, but ronnie helped me over. i made it in time, but i lost my phone in the process of getting back. a few minutes ago my mom came in and asked me why i was up haha.
but alll in allll.
tonight was really really really fun, thanks queenie, ronnie and kevin.
i really wonder what it would have been like if queenie hadn't gone, and if i was with completely different people. it definately wouldn't have been as fun. i felt like we all bonded in the three hours we were together.

i would definately re-live this night if given the chance.
it's 6:16 am, i am wide awake, and i have to be up in 2-3 hours!
=D

Rest In Peace, James "Jim" Tabor Fox

My cousin James from my mom's side of the family passed away yesterday from a tumor in his leg. He used to be the only other cousin I'd talk to besides my cousin Kristina in California. James lived in England, was in his mid twenties. He was probably the fourth youngest out of all of the cousins from my mom's side, which are the only cousins i have. I used to see him as anolder brother figure even though I never met him in person before. We would always talk about visiting each other, I wanted to go to England especially because of well, you know. It's not fair- we never met. We never had the family reunion we dreamed of. At least he lived his life to the fullest, at least he did all he can. I've never lost anyone in my family before. I used to be really close to him until I lost contact with him a few years ago. I regret not putting effort into keeping touch with him. It isn't fair, how life can be taken away from you at a young age. At least he isn't sick anymore, at least he isn't suffering. At least he is watching over us, my family.

I know I'll meet you some day, Kuya James. Rest in peace, you'll always be in my heart.

(James is on the right)

i love my best friend

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