You ain't nobody until someone loves you

At least, I think thats what Father Joseph said during the Homily today.
The homily today was probably the best one I’ve heard in a really long time. Instead of Father Tim doing the mass today, Father Joseph from St. Matthew did the mass and it was his last official one before he retired and went home to the Philippines.

He also told a story about a priest being a professor at a university and his athiest student. The student, Tommy, asked if he will ever see God. The professor replied, “No.” Then he asked if he will ever find God. The professor replied with, “No, but He will find you.” A few years later he came back to the priest/professor and told him he had cancer. He also asked him if he will know the time and place in which he will meet God. He replied saying, “Tell the people that mean the most to you that you love them.” Tommy did so and died three months later. The priest was at his fneral and tried to explain those last 3 months of Tommy’s life. He said that he went from becoming an athiest to a believer, and he was transfigured.

He talked about how we misuse the word “love” towards the things we can never love. He also talked about how we use it towards people we don’t love, and how we doubt people when they say “I love you.” He said we shouldn’t doubt, because if we doubt love, we will never be loved. He quoted a line from a song that went “You ain’t nobody until someone loves you.” And that’s so true. You are no one until someone loves you, and that someone includes yourself.

At the end of the homily he told us he loves each and every one of us. Then he instructed us to turn to our left and right and tell the people beside us we love them.

I never thought I would see the day

when my mind has clear skies.
And no thoughts of you cloud my thoughts.
When I am happy for what you have, for who you have.
When I am finally, finally done.
When I am not bitter of what you've done, and what you haven't done.
When we would both be happy with someone else.
When I realized you aren't what I need now, and who I needed at the time I thought I did.
When I am finally able to say goodbye.
And when you have finally
stopped
haunting
me.

But I am living in that day- today.

The Almost

"Dirty and Left Out"

The line, "Why do you want to be in my life" reminds me of someone, and how I became an essential part of their life. He told me I was important to him. But he lived many miles away. I didn't believe him at first, just because of that distance factor. But he made time for me. But then, he cut off the bond. He reappeared and apologized for hurting me, but did it again. He has no dissapeared from my life. But I still continue to dream about him.

"Amazing because it is"

The lines, "Why do you need me to be the boy you want me to be," remind me of that same person. I wanted him to be there for me even more. Even after he served his time. But he refused. "I can't be the person you want me to be." All I wanted him was for him to be there. But then he dissapeared.

The line, "Why do you spread your arms and tell me I'm free?" from "Dirty and left Out" and the line, "Amazing grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now I'm found," From "Amazing because it is," corrlate with one another.

It reminds me of October 31,2009. That was the day I saw the sun rise on the beach for the first time. It was the most breathtaking sight I've seen. At first, I wanted to see the sunrise with someone special. But he was no longer in my life. I wanted to see it with him when we were together, but that didn't happen. Then I wanted to see it with him when we were on good terms, which still hadn't happened. But the fact that I wanted to see it with him was an attatchment. A weight. A shackle and chains. But when I saw it, he wasn't on my mind at all. My best friend was with me. And Jesus. I saw the sun rise with who I needed to see it with. And honestly, I did feel free. "Why do you spread your arms and tell me I'm free?" I'm not sure if I did spread my arms, but my heart sure did. My heart was released from the shackle and chains. The attatchment was broken. The weight was lifted. I did not need him. I needed Him. "Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me." I was broken. But I was healed by God's grace. By his beauty. I was lost. I didn't know where I was going with my life, really. Around that time in my life, I felt so alone. But I was found. I found strength and guidance within Jesus. "I once was lost, but now I'm found." The sunrise started a new day. For me, it started a new begining in my life.

Amazing Grace,
how sweet the sound,
that saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now I'm found.
I was blind but now I see.

I just wanna see.