The Almost

"Dirty and Left Out"

The line, "Why do you want to be in my life" reminds me of someone, and how I became an essential part of their life. He told me I was important to him. But he lived many miles away. I didn't believe him at first, just because of that distance factor. But he made time for me. But then, he cut off the bond. He reappeared and apologized for hurting me, but did it again. He has no dissapeared from my life. But I still continue to dream about him.

"Amazing because it is"

The lines, "Why do you need me to be the boy you want me to be," remind me of that same person. I wanted him to be there for me even more. Even after he served his time. But he refused. "I can't be the person you want me to be." All I wanted him was for him to be there. But then he dissapeared.

The line, "Why do you spread your arms and tell me I'm free?" from "Dirty and left Out" and the line, "Amazing grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now I'm found," From "Amazing because it is," corrlate with one another.

It reminds me of October 31,2009. That was the day I saw the sun rise on the beach for the first time. It was the most breathtaking sight I've seen. At first, I wanted to see the sunrise with someone special. But he was no longer in my life. I wanted to see it with him when we were together, but that didn't happen. Then I wanted to see it with him when we were on good terms, which still hadn't happened. But the fact that I wanted to see it with him was an attatchment. A weight. A shackle and chains. But when I saw it, he wasn't on my mind at all. My best friend was with me. And Jesus. I saw the sun rise with who I needed to see it with. And honestly, I did feel free. "Why do you spread your arms and tell me I'm free?" I'm not sure if I did spread my arms, but my heart sure did. My heart was released from the shackle and chains. The attatchment was broken. The weight was lifted. I did not need him. I needed Him. "Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me." I was broken. But I was healed by God's grace. By his beauty. I was lost. I didn't know where I was going with my life, really. Around that time in my life, I felt so alone. But I was found. I found strength and guidance within Jesus. "I once was lost, but now I'm found." The sunrise started a new day. For me, it started a new begining in my life.

Amazing Grace,
how sweet the sound,
that saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost, but now I'm found.
I was blind but now I see.

I just wanna see.