missing chunk.

it's cause you were a pretty big chunk of my life. to have a big chunk choppped off from your life is pretty big, hard. it's been two months, still struggling but things like this take time. with everything that's been going on, i thought that the time was over, that i actually was begining to see the light at the end of the tunnel. but it seems like the tunnel just keeps getting longer. how do you do it? i don't understand. i wish i had the things you have; you're able to escape, you're able to hide and put on a smile, you're able to just move. although i am tired of getting my hopes up so high, i'm still not leaving. no matter what happens, something good is going to come out of this. at the end, it'll be worth it all. we'll all be stronger, and that's what i'm mostly looking forward to. the only thing i'm really afraid of is getting completely cut off from you. i'm not afraid of you not coming back, i'm not afraid of you choosing someone else, i'm not afraid of not getting what i want anymore. some day this emptiness will be filled, one way or another.