my hopes are so high

thanks to them, thanks to me.
it's so hard, trying not to let it get to me.
i keep thinking that there's a possiblility JUST BECAUSE everyone thinks so too.
in the front of my mind, i think of the possibility. in the back of my mind, i think of you being gone- forever, you not ever coming back.


and, i want to talk to you- so bad. just because i want to get somewhere like we did last night! i want it to always be like that. but i'm scared.. what if you don't want to talk to me? should i wait? that's why i said hi first last night .. it was just bugging me so much, i just had to get it over with. but we actually got somewhere. well, is us just staying where we are - no communication for now- moving forward?

i feel so much better when you're around .. when i talk to you. i want to know how you feel.

but hey, i'm getting used to this space. everyone is sure of that possibilty. i was ALMOST sure myself, but EXPECTATIONS BRING YOU DOWN. i guess that's why everything fell apart as well. i had a lot of expectations .. and you exceeded them without realizing. but the ones you weren't able to exceed right off the bat led you to the negativity. and i tried to change that, i tried to change you. i shouldn't have because that's a part of you. i can't do that anymore, not for anyone but myself. the only one i can TRY to change is myself.

i don't even knoww where i'm going with this.
i just want to talk to you, but i want to know that you want to talk to me first.

"don't TRY anything, just talk to talk."